The Destructive Institution of Higher Education

Ever since I first stepped into high school as an exciting freshman, my mind was already set upon graduation. My only dream was to walk across the stage in my graduation gown and receive my diploma. If it is possible, I would love to be a graduation speaker (not necessarily a valectorian) encouraging my classmates to reach and seize their dreams on that very day. For me, that was simply illyric.

Graduation day came. It seemed as if I only took one step into high school and another out. My dream turned into reality. I walked across the stage with a diploma (in fact, two diplomas) in my hands across the stage, spoke to the multitudes in an auditorium, and bid farewell to the school that I called my second home for eighteen years. My life was at its pinnacle and I didn't want to descend that mountain, but the law of gravity conquers all and I as a slave obey: what goes up must come down.

After graduation, I was nervous to enter a whole new realm: college. I was excited at the same time. I was going to be challenged educationally and advance my knowledge to utilize in the future. I knew that what I would experience during the year will be a year of "firsts" and I looked forward to experiencing them. Moreover, I looked forward to getting over the first year with a big, fat, red button pin with bold white "FRESHMAN" word on it.

Today, that pin is long gone. I am a sophomore, the "wisest of the dumb" (Hint: study the root behind this word... this was a humorous phrase that I picked up in high school). Sitting here at home, my mind lingered to the past year and everything I went through, the victories and defeats I experienced, and the joys shared and sorrows endured. After playing with some pleasant memorie, a faint memory lingered in my mind and became stronger. Soon, the only thing I was thinking about was, prior to entering my first class, faithfully preparing myself for the upcoming spiritual warfare for my soul by reading David Wheaton's University of Destruction. This verse was the driving force behind my preparations.

For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world -- our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?

~1 John 5:4-5

Daniel, a Jewish boy, grew up in a privileged Jewish family in the middle Eastern town of Jerusalem. He was well-educated, good-looking, and socially adept. He had everything going for him. He even had a strong faith in God.

While he was a teenager, King Nebuchadnezzar conquered Jerusalem and, as a part of the takeover, Daniel and some of his teenage friends were taken away from their families and brought hundreds of miles northeast to the great city of Babylon to be servants in the king's palace.

To be a servant requires three years of intense training, not some apron and broom to sweep the floors. In another terms, an attempt was made to brainwash Daniel into Babylonian literature, culture, religion, and customs. First, Daniel's name, which meant "God is my judge," was changed to the Babylonian name Belteshazzar, which meant "Bel protect the king." Bel was the name of the supreme idol that was worshipped in the Babylonian Empire. Second, Daniel was being completely re-educated in culture and literature of Babylon. They were trying to eliminate the instructions he received before the capture because Judaism was contradictory to Babylonian pagan worship. In short words, King Nebuchadnezzar was trying to transform a godly Jewish boy into a pagan Babylonian.

It is easy to succumb to the pressure executed by Babylon, but what did Daniel do? In another terms, what was Daniel's mind-set while he was in Babylon going through a major transition from being a Jew to a Babylonian?

But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank...

~Daniel 1:8

What did Daniel do? He "purposed in his heart," or committed to himself in his heart, that he will not fall under the influence of Babylon paganism by compromising his Judaism beliefs. He committed beforehand that he will remain steadfast in his faith and belief in God by "not defil[ing] himself." That allowed him to overcome the world and thrive as a servant of God later in his lifetime as an advisor to kings and a prophet. That is somebody that everybody could look upon as a role model in our lives, especially in the fallen state of the world spiraling toward destruction.

I do feel like Daniel. I feel like I am walking in his shoes. I feel like I am being indoctrinated in paganism ideology and lifestyle at my college. College is an enticing place for me to "come out of the closet" from the protection of my parents. I could easily find a girl and have prematerial sex at my own leisure. I could easily join a drinking party and have the most fun time of my lifetime. I could have literally "eat, drink, and be merry." Professors could have "brainwashed" me into believing that God is, in essence, false and I could have chosen to take the hook, bait, and the sinker. Living a sinful lifestyle is fun.

Instead of succumbing myself to the pressures of the fallen world, I committed myself to the same cause Daniel did; I have "purposed in [my] heart" that I shall NOT lower my moral standards. Instead of looking at debased and worthless idols of this world, I have fixed my eyes upwardly toward the prize: the glittering crown of life. I have a long race ahead of me. I have many obstacles to overcome. I shall attempt to not allow any iota of impure action, thoughts, words, or deeds to enter this holy temple (read: my body) consectrated for God alone for His glory. Even if I am pure before God's eyes, I do also realize that I will fall from time to time. I am still a human. I still live in flesh, not in spirit. When I fall, instead of groveling in the dust feeling sorry for myself, I shall rise as a battered but victorious man, stronger, bolder, and transformed. I have purposed in my heart to imitate Christ's loving attributes toward the most worst of the worst. Via Occam's razor, I shall be a Overcomer of this world through the power and grace of our Lord Savior Jesus Christ, the only true Messiah that had come and will come again in the future. Amen.

The Nature of Man

There is another world, another reality. A reality ruled by the omnipresent Darkness. The Vise tightens its iron grip while the mocking Clock ticks and mercilessly sparing no soul of the sad world from the endless pain. With each woeful lament, blood sprouts out of their never-healing scars. In my very own eyes, I see people suffering while retreating into the obsidian land. O, how strong and firm is the hand of the Deep!

A long line stretches from one end to other as far as my eyes can see. People chained with a dull, heavy, grey chain at their ankle and forced to endure the Long March. Their faces, oh how so repulsive! Some distorted, some demonic, while other simply disfigured. Their nodding heads is impregnably veiled with sweat, dust, and tears. Those chains, oh how those hands digs and claws into their raw flesh! A great haze of grey dust under the lightless sky ascends to encompass them. The starless, murky canopy presses down as the silent chains rings in the Deep. O, how strong and firm is the hand of the Deep!

“Run,” I cry in earnest, but they march blindly. “Flee,” I implore, but they crawl like thick molasses down a towering cliff that disappears into the grey fog. Even the stones’ terrible and woeful cries can be heard!

All they do is march, march, march. Their feet drag on endlessly. Wiry and sharp trees droop on their head, clasping each ugly faces and set free thin streams of fresh blood to trickle down their faces. The red beady eye sits up high in the trees, staring with those never blinking eyes at the poor inhabitants of the world. This is the Nature of Man. All they do is march, march, march. March. March. March. Into the opaque eternity…In this world where happiness abounds, I see fresh wounds bleeding happily and freely. In this world where laughter is ubiquitous, I hear the omnipresent cries lingering from the gaping mouth of the Deep. In this world where every moment is treasured, I curse as the mocking Clock savors Men’s pains. On the fruitful trees that bloom every spring bringing life, Death’s fruits populate each dark limb. Where freedom is plentiful, the Dark, Cold, Grey Chains drags every free ankle. Clank. Clank. Clank. Onward they go toward the horizon like bellwethers obedient to the benevolent killers of the Deep.

This is the sinful Nature of Man.

“Depart, you angels! I am the Lamb and the Key. I shall stoop over every man, unlocking the yoked chains of slavery and proclaim every man a freeman. I alone hold the Key to the everlasting Light that shall never diminish; I am the Lamp that is set upon the highest hill, piercing the Deep. I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. I am the last Lamb, the perfect sacrifice. The only thing I ask from you: come just as you are, shackled in the burdensome chains, filthy, weary, defeated; You shall be set free.”

XX Olympic Games

The twentieth Olympics Games began in Torino with the lighting of the Olympic cauldron with billions of people as witnesses. As 2,500 athletes marched around the stadium waving their home flags proudly with grinning faces, I could see how hard they all worked to reach the dream of their lives: going to the Olympics and bringing home a gold medal. Even we are captivated with our fantasies of being a part of the famed Olympics Games. I find myself imaging competing against other athletes around the world for the coveted middle spot of the podium with a glittering gold medal hanging around my neck. On that podium, I would be dubbed as the Strongest, Fastest, and the Best among the best of the world in an event. In a practical sense, I would be the King. That is the same thing that all athletes felt all the way back to the Greeks who first started the Games.

Olympics began in late nineteenth century with its roots originating from the Ancient Greece. In order to be successful in their competitions, athletes are required to devote hours of time in training and conditioning to bring themselves to the peak of their physical condition to be able to compete other athletes for the experience of being crowed with a laurel wreath awarded by the reigning king (or Caesar) as a reward for being the best of the best.

As the first day of the Games progressed, I could not help but watch how dedicated and focused those athletes were in reaching the podium. Even if it was not documented by the television, all athletes were nervous long before they compete. They will go through the routines many times down to every detail, practice for many hours every week, and diet to be able to experience fifteen minutes of fame. I admire them because of the sacrifice and devotion that they have to make for the past four years (or more) into intense training and conditioning to participate in the Games. In a sense, the athletes who compete at the Games are the apotheosis of athleticism, but they are still humans like us.

Their bodies will not last forever. They will become older and decide to retire from the Games to pursue their less extravagant lives. Their bodies will lose the skill to be dexterous and give way to age. They will die one day. With or without gold medals.

What if there was a gold medal that every athlete was guaranteed to receive in their lives only if they will devote their whole lives to it? What if there was a laurel crown waiting for them in the end that they will not lose if they preserved to the very end? What if their spot on the podium was already guaranteed and there is no silver and bronze medals to be issued? What if I said that this crown was available for us, not just for athletes of the world?

"Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." ~1 Corinthians 9:25

We, the Christians, have to commit ourselves to strict training just like the Olympian athletes do in a spiritual sense. EVERYBODY who competes in the games trains strictly to get a crown will be terribly disappointed. It won't last. It won't fulfill their hearts forever. It will disappear. It is perishable. On the other hand, Christians should and are commanded to spend their whole lives training themselves so that they will be able to receive the crown that will last forever when they die. Through our spiritual fitness, we will train ourselves to be “spirits of steel” through the learning of the Bible, suffering through trials and temptations, and with the fellowship of our fellow believers. "How do we train?" Paul explains this in one of his letters to Timothy:

"For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." ~1 Timothy 4:8

"Physical training has some value? Do you mean that it is worthless? How can we train to gain the crown of life?" Physical training has some value because, like I mentioned earlier, the body that we conditioned into will not last forever. Our muscles will become less rigid and stately. We will eventually succumb to our oldest enemies: age. So, therefore, physical training, even if it has some merit, is not worth spending a whole life to. It is worthless. Seems like all hope is lost? Should we just sit down and be a couch potato for our whole lives? By no means! How are we to gain the crown of life?

The crown of life lies into our devotion of becoming godlier. "Godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." My brothers and sisters, if we attempt to live a godly life, we will end our races with a glittering crown on our heads, adorned with treasures beyond our own wildest imaginations. We have to commit ourselves to strict training spiritually. We have to turn our lazy and fat lump of souls who is accustomed to conformable way of life in this world to strong and fit group capable of running the marathon of our lives. We have to challenge ourselves beyond our comfort zones. We have to be willing to take the extra step in faith when it seems like the future is black. We have to experience suffering and persecution in order to become spiritually strong. We have to hold fast to our Anchor when all hope seems to be lost.

Sounds tough? That is why it requires our whole life devoted to this type of training. We have to commit ourselves to this goal. If we do not stick to it, then all is lost.

I thought that a poem from my dear friend should be added so you can understand what it means to preserve through the race:

A baby's first cry pierced the jubilant air.

A gunshot sounded and reverberated through the air.

Smiles glowed from the beaming faces of the new parents
Clinging on to her father's steady hand
She took her first step of the countless to come.

The crowd roared as the runner took off
Shouting encouragements
She headed toward the long path of life.

Grains of time fell through the hourglass
With her budding teeth
Her jaws closed onto her first solid food.

The sneakers pounded the gravel rhythmically
Panting
Lessons of endurance echoed in her head.

Hormones raged

Mountains and valleys came

Dust collected on the Word
Superficial laughter of her friends echoed
A heart grew heavy.

Her body cried out
Deprived of her daily nourishment
A pair of legs grew weary.

Unable to piece together a shattered heart
With no methods that brought forth healing
She gave her heart to the only true Doctor in her life.

Crashing on the gravel-coated path
Blood flowed from her wounds and cried out
A strong, loving Hand lifted her up.

Singing with joy

Adrenaline coursing

Despair
She watched helplessly
Her friends indulging in the cheapened version of life.

Confusion
She watched helplessly
The other runners ran off the narrow track of life.

Her so-called friends jeered
Turned away and rejected
She trusted the One the world had murdered.

People from the sidelines flung stones
Battered and rejected
She kept her eyes on the Prize.

True Love came

Sunshine peeked through the clouds

Everlasting vows exchanged in ecstasy
First kiss as husband and wife
Two flesh became one.

A mate appeared
Forevermore running side by side
Two pairs of feet ran together as one.

Alone no more
True and steadfast lifelong friends
Laughter and love mingled.

A lonely path no more
Packs joined
Laughter and encouragement mingled.

Bringing forth new beginnings

Smiling as gunshots echoed in the faraway landscape

A stand of white hair appeared
She left it as it was
For she knew.

The runner saw the golden glow in the horizon
Ahead of her
And she knew.

Raspy air breathed out of her laboring lungs
A last breath- a flower wilted
Tears of grief fell.

Sweat pouring, eyes a-glowing
A last burst of energy- a ribbon broke
Tears of joy fell.

"Well done, my good and faithful servant!" The King of Kings proclaimed.

A glittering Crown of Life was placed upon her head.

She was finally Home.

~Jessica, 2006

Preserve to the very end of this race. Don't give up. Keep on running. Keep your eyes on the prize. Do not let anybody distract you from this finish line. It might seem tough at times, but nobody said that the training and race would be easy. The crown of life is promised to those who are faithful in their training and race. It is okay if you fall sometimes during the race, but what matters the most is that we all reach the finish line. There is a glittering crown of life waiting for us all at the end. We will be able to achieve our lifelong dreams: standing on the podium as a champion in this race of our lifetime. Paul speaks about reaching the finish line in joy:

"[...] I [Paul] have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." ~2 Timothy 4:7-8

Blessings!

Forgiveness and Grace

I got this story from JabezPosters.com today and was very inspired and felt that I should share it with you all because it mirrors God's love and forgiveness towards us.

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. And he was given
a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods but he
could never hit the target. And getting a little discouraged; he headed back to
dinner.

As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let it
fly, hit the duck square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved.

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see his sister
watching. Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch that day grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the dishes." But Sally
said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen today, didn't
you Johnny?" And then she whispered to him, "Remember, the duck?"

So Johnny did the dishes.

Later, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing, and Grandma said,
"I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make supper." But Sally smiled and said,
"Well, that's all right, because Johnny told me he wanted to help." And she
whispered again, "Remember, the duck?"

So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's, he finally
couldn't stand it any longer. He came to Grandma and confessed that he killed
the duck. She knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You
see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing. But because I love
you, I forgave you.

But I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you."

I don't know what's in your past. I don't know what one sin the enemy keeps
throwing up in your face. But whatever it is, I want you to know something.

The Lord Jesus Christ was standing at the window. And He saw the whole thing.
But because He loves you, He has forgiven you. Perhaps He's wondering how long
you'll let the enemy make a slave out of you. The great thing about God is that
He not only forgives, but He forgets.

God bless you all!

A Righteous God and A Savior

"[T]here is no God apart from me, a righteous God and a Savior; there is none but me.

'Turn to me and be saved, all you ends of the earth; for I am God, and there is no other. By myself I have sworn, my mouth has uttered in all integrity a word that will not be revoked: Before me every knee will bow; by me every tongue will swear. They will say of me, "in the Lord alone are righteousness and strength."' All who have raged against him will come to him and be put to shame."

~Isaiah 45:21c-24 (NIV)

Today at my lunch break, I was continuing my study of Isaiah as a part of a one-year bible-reading plan (even if I'm behind by six months, but who says that I must read the entire Bible in a year?). When I read this passage, I felt that this is something that I had to write in the blog but this message might be offensive to you, but to me, this serves to be like "iron that sharpens another iron" (read: effective discipline) for us.

Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me. I, even I, am the Lord, and apart from me there is no savior.

~Isaiah 43:10b-11

I think that the brief passage clearly states what the world keeps on missing. Lord is the ONLY God of the universe. He is the only one who has existed from the very beginning of time and will last to the very moment when time stops. He is the Eternal God. He alone is worthy of being called "Lord." Unlike many idols (let it be wooden, stone, or things that will pass away such as money, power, fame, etc.) which are formed by Men, God is the living Father who created the world and cared about His people. In this book, Isaiah speaks bitterly against the folly of people making idols to suit their own desires, self-centered pride and egoistical ambitions:

"'To whom will you compare me or count me equal? To whom will you liken me that we may be compared? Some pour out gold from their bags and weight out silver on the scales; they hire a goldsmith to make it into a god, and they bow down and worship it. They lift it to their shoulders and carry it; they set it up in its place, and there it stands. From that spot it cannot move. Though one cries out to it, it does not answer; it cannot save him from his troubles.

'Remember this, fix it in mind, take it to heart, you rebels. Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.'"

~Isaiah 46:5-10

I'm sure, by now, you must have noticed that there is repetitions of "I am God, and there is no other" and "there is none like me." It might be hard for you to accept that fact (but is accepted easily by the believers) and it is because you are "rebels" of God. Remember what He said in the first passage? All who have raged against him will come to him and be put to shame. When a gift is willingfully offered to you is rejected, the giver would be greatly offended.

So is the case with God.

He could have easily cursed us with His great wrath and end the life that we know of at this moment. He had many chances to do that throughout the history because His chosen people continually to craft idols and rebel against God through their debauchery, lewdful actions, and profane mouths. Why didn't He blot His chosen people from his presence? If somebody spit you in the face and beaten you half to death, you would attempt to avenge them for their actions, right?

God, the most powerful being of the whole universe that holds life and death in His hands, chose not to do that just like he did not for the Israelites. Surely they were sent into exile at different periods of history for their rebellious actions, but God always graciously forgives them for their past sins and brings them back to His promised land.

That's called Grace. And Grace is what saves rebels like us. That is what He offers to us today through Jesus Christ's death on the cross two thousand years ago.

Don't continue to rebel against Him. Don't continue to live out your lives crafting various idols made out of gold or bronze. Don't worship any of your things that you own today (let it be money, personal property, or any other things that you hold dearly). Bow down before His mighty presence, confess with your lips that He is your savior and the Lord of your lives.

And that is when you will receive His Grace. That's a promise.

Remember... if you choose not to bow down before Him, you will fall to your knees one day in horror as you realize that He is God. That's the reason why my heart is heavy with this message because many of you readers do not know God personally and it is my desire for you to reconcile with Him.

Experiencing His Greatness

"Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighted the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance? Who has understood the mind of the Lord, or instructed him as his counselor? Whom did the Lord consult to enlighten him, and who taught him the right way? Who was it that taught him knowledge or showed him the path of understanding?

Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket; they are regarded as dust on the scales; he weights the islands as though they were fine dust. Lebanon is not sufficient for altar fires, nor its animals enough for burnt offerings. Before him all the nations are as nothing; they are regarded by him as worthless and less than nothing.

To whom, then, will you compare God? What image will you compare him to? As for an idol, a craftsman casts it, and a goldsmith overlays it with gold and fashions silver chains for it. A man too poor to present such an offering selects wood that will not rot. He looks for a skilled craftsman to set up an idol that will not topple.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood since the earth was founded? He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in. He brings princes to naught and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing. No sooner are they planted, no sooner are they sown, no sooner do they take root in the ground, than he blows on them and they wither, and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

'To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal?' says the Holy One. Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, 'My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God'? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

~Isaiah 40:12-31

My mind always tears apart after trying to absorb God's matchless greatness. Today, as I read this passage, my mind was literally blown to pieces. All mountains in this world is big by our own standards... and He is able to weight it on a scale? A nation (imagine Russia) is like a speck of fine dust? The forests of Lebanon not enough for the altar fires?

What is so important about the forests of Lebanon?

This forest constituted mostly cedar trees and was situated along the Jordan River. They were so vast and so massive that the ancient world recognized that as magnificent trees and it was chiefly used for King Solomon's palace (the palace of Lebanon). Other than its vast size, it was also said to be the most beautiful piece of timber that one could find in the Ancient World. Imagine the trees in California. I could picture it similar to the forest of Lebanon.

The forests of Lebanon not enough for the altar fires? There was many sacrifices going on in Israel (as a way of honoring God) and it was not enough for the altar of God! The size of this fire must be massive if all the cedar trees of Lebanon was put together to burn in honor of God... but it was not enough! What more could you ask for? Even all the trees of this world would not be enough for Him! His greatness extends ever further than this!

All dirt of this world contained within a basket! Picture this... you have this little basket of any size and all the dirt of this world fits perfectly in there with more to be added later on even if there is none left. If you tried to dig a 6 by 2 feet hole, you will be left with a big pile of dirt. When somebody is building a house, a massive pile of dirt will reside nearby and you would be amazed at the amount that came out of the ground. Imagine this! ALL dirt of this world fits comformably in a basket... a small wicket basket!

God once told Abraham that his descendants will be as numerous as the stars of the heaven. Have you ever attempted to count how many stars there are during the night? I tried once and failed miserably many times. What is amazing here is that God knows how many stars there are up there in the heaven and NOT ONE is missing! That blows my mind away!

That made me appreciate how powerful and great He is and made me thankful that he is a Sovereign God who holds everything under control. Nothing happens beyond his control or knowledge. Remember how Isaiah said that there is nothing that God does not know... he knows everything (in the past, present and into the infinity). He knows what will happen to each one of us (6 billion people on this insignificant world) and he has everything planned out perfectly for us. Everything happens for a reason and He knows that it will happen because He is a sovereign God!

Let everybody who agrees proclaim with a loud voice so that the whole world can hear us with a simple word, "Amen!" or "So be it!"

Reflection

Today, as the sun approaches the end of this day, I can't help but to sit back and reflect on my year. As I descended deeper into my thoughts, I can't help but smile about all blessings that I have received during this year. At times of despair, I got hope. When murky fog clouds my head, Wisdom came. When the little devil on my shoulder taunts me into doing bad things, a sweep across the shoulder is all he got.

I have accomplished many things (far more than I would ever expect to) this year. Completing a two-years-long flagpole project and reaching the pinnacle of my Scouting career by becoming into a Eagle Scout. Graduating from my educational institution after seventeen years with glowing faces of my family and teachers. Spoke to my entire class and the local deaf community at my graduation. Starting another journey into my life by challenging myself at a college. Being bold and took a step forward into the hearing world, something that shook the deaf community.

Those things might seem miniscule to you, but to me, it was labeled with bold black words, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. As I looked over the things that I have succeeded into doing, a quiet voice nudged me and said, "Remember the King of kings." Upon realizing what it was suggesting, all of my current worries disspated like fine grain of dust blown away into oblivion by strong gust of wind. As I emptied myself, I became full again. Full with His grace and love. I have never felt any more fuller. Before I knew Him personally, I tried to replace worldly things to make myself feel content with life. Nothing worked. Money did not... neither power, authority of the world, fame nor agape love from my family. Nothing can consummate my soul's utmost desire of being satisfied with my life... except for His boundless and endless love.

All of my achievements I had done this past year... became nothing. They became non-existent. They passed from my mind and I realized that one of the greatest gifts that I have received in my life (during this year and the years to come)... His salvation.

Just when I thought I was full, I was empty.
Just when I thought I was found, I was lost.
Just when I thought I could see, I was blind.
Just when I thought I had everything in my life and could not ask for more,
I was utterly deceived.

O Cursed lion! Just when I try to cast you out of my body,
You gleefully fasten your claws with malice in your eyes,
The flames, O! how bright and how fierce they are!
Like a hapless prey I freeze in horror while
This king of beasts lowers himself to trounce upon me.

O Cursed lion! Just when I try to kill you,
You revealed your teeths.
All the weapons of the world became like toothpicks.
How sharp and horny they are!
If the lethality of those horrible fangs are not enough,
They are stained with the last drops from my exilir,
Doomed to drip down into the expanse of infinity.

O Cursed lion! Just when I try to flee,
You easily counter my actions by blocking my way.
You do this so effortlessly that I finally figured that you will tire me out before
Exinguishing my candle.

Just when I thought I was defeated,
A fanatic yelp was heard and the lion was nowhere to be seen.
Filled with confusion, I hastily got up to my feet only to be forced back down.
Fear overcame me as I turned around to see what held me down.
It was the Lion.

His mane, how wide and shiny!
His sinews, how stately and shapely!
His jaws, how so white and wide!
His feet, how powerful and honed with steel claws!
His music, how lovely!

As he roared, fear did not overcome me.
The iron strings of my heart moved,
Its music far more beautiful than anything else in the world.
Its deep note engulfed the whole region while,
On his back, a creature gazed in amazement.

This Lion is like no other lions!
Crown of refined gold and chociest of all jewels adorns his head,
Royal tunic of purple silk flows from his neck and covers his body!

In the full splendor of his power,
Something happened.
Instead of commanding me to serve him as a laborer,
The Crown was taken off, laid on the ground.
Instead of taking me away into the unknown,
The Tunic was unbuttoned and wrapped around me.
The massive paw laid on my shoulder,
His eyes pierced my eyes.
A nod of my head was the only thing needed.
I finally understood.

The Morning After Christmas

A day has passed... the sun has set and rose again upon us. All gifts are opened and most clothes tried on. Our feasts already eaten and we are just waking up from a long night of slumber. Stores across the nation begins to rebreathe life into themselves. Malls open early to accept a wave of shoppers who are returning or buying things with outrageous discounts posted across the department stores. Young teenagers and adults head up to the mountain to ski down the snow-capped mountain. The night time light displays begin to disappear across the country. Christmas trees' decorations taken down, stowed away for another season and trees prepped to be discarded in the dump. The pulse in the artery of life resumed this morning.

What happened to Christmas? What happened to the jovial nature of Christmas? Why do we return so quickly to our normal lives, forgetting the very blessed day that we experienced just less than twenty-four hours ago? What happened to the time that we enjoyed so much being with the family?

Most importantly... what happened to Christ?

It amazes me how quickly we seem to forget that Christ, the long-awaited Messiah who was born in Bethelehem in a lowly stable and the promised Savior that was foretold thousands of years before his arrival, was forgotten. I could compare Christmas to a sparrow that entered a barn door and exited another one, just spending merely seconds inside. That is how quickly Christmas seemed to be.

For me, this Christmas was special. This was the first Christmas on Sunday that was filled with profound meaning to me as a true Christian. After opening presents and eating together with my family, we headed to a church service that was filled with joyful shouts of praise. My soul felt very joyful and felt like it wanted to burst open and shout endless praises to God for His arrival. Even if a few peopleshowed up (less than 1/3 of normal number of people), it didn't hamper the spirit of Christmas and His birthday. To me, it was the first time when I really sang Jesus a "Happy Birthday" song.

It made me think as I sang this song... where is Christ in my life? I know that he is Immanuel (God within) and he resides inside me through the indwelling Holy Spirit who serves to be my counsel whenever I need it. I know that he never forsakes me. Since he dwells inside me, I should give something back to him. What could match the gift that He gave to me? More importantly, have I placed my 100% commitment to Christ?

I have tried... and tried... and tried... but I have failed.

I didn't despaired. Instead, that serves me as a fuel to strive to become more and more like Christ (santification) and I know that in the end, when I die, I will be joyfully received in the Kingdom of Heaven with Christ's arms open and the words, "Welcome home, my child!" Filled with that thought, I have given my gift to Christ in the church. I gave him the gift of my total commitment to Him.

What does it mean by a total commitment to Christ?

Setting aside myself and allowing Him to reign in my life. Loving neighbors as I love myself. Honor and revere Lord my God and not bowing down before other gods of the world (money, power, fame, etc.). Not judging others (except for the purpose of spiritual discipline and rebuking in a loving ways) lest I would be judged by the same measures. Loving my enemies and bless them who presecute me. When somebody strikes me on a cheek, turn to another cheek instead of striking back. Embracing prostitutes and fornificators, not condemning them for their past actions (even if they were wrong and goes against what Christ teaches). Loving the poor and rich equally. Never turn anybody away when they need help the most.

This list is just a scratch on the surface, but what makes this faith so simple yet difficult to live by is because it goes against our very human nature (sin-ridden and filthy) who desires only carnal things. With the power of Holy Spirit and the willingness to allow Him take control of my life, I will be able to conquer each of those behemoth obstacles in my life and cultivate His deepest intimacy. The world will notice me and say, "Look at this fool... worshipping this so-called God of universe" and presecute me... but powers nor demons nor angels nor governments nor anything in the world will SEPARATE ME FROM THE LOVE OF CHRIST.

The immatchable love of God is the only true gift that I will ever receive. All materials that I get from people (nice, they are) will perish and fade away, but the amazing grace that saved a wretch like me is a gift that will not decay, but will continue to flourish every moment of my life and into the eternity.

That is why I celebrate Christmas, Jesus Christ's birthday.

The Truth about Christmas

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this.

~Isaiah 9:6-7 (NIV)

Admist all the lights and jovial nature of Christmas season, there is a lot of reasons to celebrate this season. Family reunions. Gifts. White Christmas (for those who are fortunate enough). Hot Cider. Cookies. Delicious dinner. One of my greatest sins, not surprisingly, is cookies and once I smell the aroma of my mother's kitchen as she makes cookies, I could understand how that dog in Pavlov's experiment felt when food was presented in his environment.

For those who have not taken Psychology class, this is an experiment conducted by Pavlov in late nineteenth and early twenieth century to experiment the behavior of animals **in this case, a dog** once a stimuli is presented in the environment. This allowed him to reach to a conclusion that once the brain detects the scent of a food, it instructs our salvinary glands to start salvinate to prepare for the process of digesting food.

Have you ever noticed a scene of an infant in swaddling of cloth in a hay-filled manger? Have you ever slowed down to look at this delicate creature with two parents watching over him? Ever wondered who that babe was? Why are there so many scenes close to houses and churches across the America? Most importantly... why is this holiday more widely known as Christmas?

Look at the name itself. CHRIST - MAS. The first six letters constitutes of a man who revolutionized the whole world... Jesus Christ. Catholic Church considered his birth so significant that they designated two different time periods: BC (Before Christ) and AD (After David *Jesus was born on the lineage of King David, a famous king of Israel who strove to honor God throughout his whole life*) in our calendar. This is the reason why we celebrate this season... the birth of the one who was the long-anticipated Messiah.

This is also one of Isaiah's many prophencies being fulfilled (look at the verse at the beginning) and one of many prophencies that other prophets have made in the past. The number of prophencies are staggering and the statistics of fulfilling even ONE Messianic prophencies are one out of billions... and EVERY SINGLE ONE of those 256 prophecies are fulfilled. Even more, there are many more prophecies about Christ's death and EVERY SINGLE ONE of those prophencies are also fulfilled. There is no discrepancy in any of those ones and it gives strong indication of how the Bible is not fallible or errant, but instead God-breathed and God-inspired.

Why should there be any doubt that Christ's birth actually did happened in Bethlehem in a stable with shepherds and wise men as witnesses? Why do you doubt the existence of Christ? Out of all those prophecies being fulfilled, why do you still not believe that Christ is actually the long-awaited Messiah promised by God to save us all from His wrath? Why do you STILL resist Him just like the Jews do? The Messiah has already come on Earth, perished on the Cross, died and went to Hell for three days, rose from the dead and went to be with His Father only to return again sometimes in the future to judge the living and the dead.

Just submit yourselves to Him and He will make you more satisfied in your life than ever! You will never feel like a prisoner held captivated by things that is very burdensome to you. I was one of those people who resisted before until I realized that I would not begin to live as fully as possible if it was not for His saving Grace. His Grace is what makes the blind see again, the mute speak again and restores hope in everybody. Just accept the gift... and make this your first REAL Christmas. The first Christmas without the Santa, reindeers, lights, music, and parties... and make it the first one with your Savior.

What will your choice be? Heaven or Hell?

Christmas: An Holy Incarnation

In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God."

~Luke 1:26-30

Right now, Christmas season is in a full swing. Outrageous sales is going on now to lure customers to buy various kinds of goodies. Holiday pressure is settling in as Christmas is just two weeks away. The holiday tension and excitement is starting to become evident as various lighted display begins to appear across America. Some displays are very brilliant and colorful that we just can't help but slow down to admire the illuminated beauty of the night. Don't get me wrong here... I love the lighted displays that people erect in their front yards because they enhance the spirit of Christmas. Let it be Santa or Jesus, it is what makes this holiday season truly joyful.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if this holiday was not formed in America? No lights? No outrageous sales in malls? No joyful sayings of "Merry Christmas" and "Silent Night, Holy Night..."? No Message of Hope? This season would be dull and December would just be another month of snow with no meaning. Moreover, even if we still celebrate this kind of holiday, it would just prove to be meaningless and vainful.

"Holy Incarnation? What do you mean by that?" By definition, the word "incarnation" means "a bodily manifestation of a supernatural being." If you will read a bit further in Luke 1, Gabriel will tell Mary that she has been indwelled with the Holy Spirit and will give birth to a son who will be named Jesus, meaning Messiah or the Anointed One. The reason why God chose Mary to bear his Son is because she was favored in God's eyes.

In this Christmas story, Mary was given seven gifts: 1) Pregancy, 2) A Son, 3) Virgin birth, 4) Joshua, 5) Raising the Son of God, 6) Mother to the Most High, and 7) Mother of the Savior. Imagine you receiving this wonderful gift of God by bearing his own son? It would be an enormous honor you will ever receive in your life (including the future generations). Since that is not possible, there still remain the greatest gift that we can receive today... only if you will seek, ask and knock. Once you knock, the door will be opened. That is a promise.

Want to know the greatest gift you will receive in the future? Stay posted as more entries come up throughout this Christmas season.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

~Matthew 7:7-8

Love your neighbors

For the past few days, I have reflected on what happened during a conversation with my childhood friend whose relationship has strained in the past few years. She (who will be called Sue) left me a instant message on my MSN Messenger while I was browsing the web with one question that almost snapped me:

I am going to ask you for the last time... when will you send me a graduation picture with both of us?!

Just to let you know, I have a history of pulling things off until somebody forces me to do it at that moment (but trust me, my readers... I'm not as bad as it might seem... it only happens infrequently). Sadly, this happens to be the case this time, but for a long time, I have always assumed that my mother already send her mother the picture of our graduation a bit after her college started.

Fuming with a growing sense of frustration, I almost lashed out at her that night. For several months, I attempted to be nice with her but only received "What do you want," "Get to the point of this conversation" instead of a simple and cheerful "I'm doing good... how about you?" Instead of letting my mouth fly out of control, I composed myself for a few moments and responded with a simple but cheerful "Hello :)" before starting to tell her about how I observed Suefrom the past month based on her conversations with me.

You know... I could have abandoned you a long time ago. I could have removed you from my e-mail address book, blocked you from being able to send me e-mails and blocked you from all of my messaging systems, thereby blocking you out of my life... but I didn't because it is not what Jesus would have done. He never turned away anybody during his life.

There was a long silence before she finally responded with a response (roughly rephrased based on my memory), "I don't want to throw away our friendship down the drain, but after taking some classes with you, you proved to me that you existed to be my competitor. I think my actions have proved it to you" and "I have thought about what you have said to me about how you cared for me, but, ever since u became 'spiritual person,' you seem to be forced into embracing everybody."

Oh, I was never forced in embracing anybody... I chose to. Just as I chose to believe in Christ, I chose to embrace you not only because I care about you but also because I want to imitate Christ as closely as possible. What will it require from me to get through your thick head to make you realize that I CARE ABOUT YOU???

The words "I care about you" stuck in my mind for a long time. This was the last thing I would expect myself to tell somebody who have expressed hatred and jealousy. This stands in contradiction with my human nature and I couldn't stop thinking, "I didn't know what I just said... it seems like it is not who I am speaking, but the indwelling Holy Spirit is."

If you love Lord your God with your whole heart, mind, soul and strength, then nothing else matters in your life except for serving God and pleasing Him. Isn't it odd... the whole world craves for true love, but when we discover who the True Love is, they reject it? Isn't it odd... when people desire to be loved by others, but when Christians express their love to their enemies, they only reap hatred?

I have come to a realization today. If you do truly love God and are willing to surrender everything in your life just to serve Him... miracles happen. Just as Jesus told his disciples, "All authority is given to me in Heaven. Go therefore and make disciples of ALL nations..." Matthew 28:18-19 (emphasis added), Jesus tells us to go and spread the Good News to everybody. Jesus did give us a warning that if we deny His name before other people, then Jesus will deny us before his Father. Our faith is a very rewarding one, but not without consequences. There will be presecution, hatred, insulting remarks, and every kinds of evil, but do not fear, my friends, for they hate Christ, not us.

Surrender everything and start loving others. Imitate Christ. Let your light shine in the world brightly. You will make a difference in someone's life.

Snow

One of my wintertime favorites is going outside while it is snowing to look up at the sparkling snowflakes as they fall lazily down from the grey sky. I love to stand in the midst of a snowstorm (if I am lucky) and watch the landscape transform into a wintry wonderland. That really makes me want to go out and hit the slopes (I only went up the mountain once... with a mind set on being a pro snowboarder). I can be really miserable sometimes (that is, falling every few feet) but I just love going down a hill with snow whizzing past my face (if I am lucky enough). This kind of experience is very relaxing until I find myself face-full with cold snow.

If I am not 'boarding... after some quality time outside being dazzled by the beauty of the snowflakes, I would return back nippy into my toasty home with a blazing fire in the hearth and make myself a cup of hot chocolate to warm up. Inhaling the soothing aroma of a steaming mint-flavored hot chocolate cup, I would continue to stare outside and watch the flakes fall delicately to the ground. Time didn't existed. Time stretches into infinity. If the snow did not stopped falling to the ground, I could probably just sit at the front of a window and look like I lost myself in that whiteness. All of my worries and concerns... simply ceased to exist. All of my present-day troubles... disappeared. What I experience during those moment is a period of peace and rest.

I don't get that feeling often because snow rarely fall here in Maryland sufficiently during the day for me to stare at for hours, but I can get the same feeling in a different way. I get that when I meditate and talk with God in private. When I isolate myself in a room with no distractions from my parents or the outside world, that is when Father comes to me and talk with me in my heart. My yoke is replaced with His. His yoke is light (feather-light) and all of my troubles fade because I am reminded that He takes care of everything for me. He comes into my heart to caress me and strengthen me. That is the time when I can worship, honor, praise, cry, shout in joy, mourn and give thanks. That is when I really love chapter 23 from the Psalms... they provide a great meditation and prayer tool when I am lacking words:

The Lord is my Shepherd... He leads me beside still waters; He restores my soul... As I walk through the valley of shadow and death, I shall fear no evil for thy rod and staff, they comfort me...

Those are one of many promises contained within the Bible. God restores your soul and set all of your anxieties aside. He will comfort you and reassure you that He will never leave nor forsake you... NOT ONCE. He never did to me. That provides great refuge for my heart because whatever happens in my life, I know that God will always be with me side-by-side. God promises you the same thing for all of your past, present and future troubles. Prayer is the most powerful tool that a saint can have... and it is not only reserved for pastors or leaders of the church. You can do it and it is not hard. No fancy jargon or terminology necessary to impress God. Prayer is a meaningful conversation between God and you, so meaningful that once you get so absorbed into it, time ceases to exist.

That is one thing that I love about prayers and that is why I find myself giving thanks to God for everything in my life and for the beauty of his Creation. I try to spend a lot of time with Him in quiet prayer and meditation so that I may cultivate true intimacy and taste his Peace. True and Absolute Peace. This is a great season to be still and watch the snowflakes descend from the sky with our eyes fixed upwardly toward our heavenly Father as a delicate flake falls on our noses.

Christmas: A Time of Anticipation

This is a time of season when we look forward to receiving gifts. We eagerly make list of things that we would like to open from under the Christmas tree (note: it is not a "holiday tree"). According to the national news, one of the most requested items that kids ask their parents to get is a nano ipod. Other things that kids might ask from their parents range from clothes to gimmicks to televisions. Some might even go as far as asking their parents, "can you buy me one of those Lexus cars with a red ribbon on the top of it" or "Lamborghini, please? At least I want to try to catch Santa next year when he lands on my roof."

This is also a season of joy and sadness. Some of the America's finest Patriots (read: troops) are out there fighting a war aimed at liberating a country from the heavy hand of a dictator. They are fighting over there for the sake of our freedom, even when it seems like it is for their sake. I am not going to dedicate myself to the politics of the war in this one... it is a whole another discussion to cover in the future, but there are many families whose soldiers won't be home with them during the Christmas season. My prayer is always with them until the day they return home. Even in the midst of sadness, they can still express their inner joy by knowing that their sons and daughters are out there fighting for a just and noble cause. They know that in Iraq, those men are considered as their national heroes.

It makes me wonder about one thing during this season. Since we celebrate Christmas, do any of us really know how precious that gift is? Do we ever take the time to thank our ancestors who fought so hard and shed their blood for a cause that they believed in? Do we really know how much they surrendered in the past for this nation and for their descendants to give us this privilege to celebrate?

In midst of shopping frenzy and stress, we need to stop ourselves during this season, forget the list of things that needs to be accomplished and just gaze at that green tree decorated with illuminating lights and ornaments. As we gaze at it, we should ponder, "What is the real reason for Christmas? What makes this holiday so important to America?" What makes this holiday so important to everybody? It is not just about tradition, waking up early in the morning to kids' gleeful and excited cries of "Wake up! It's Christmas" or Santa Claus and his jovial "Ho! Ho! Ho!" With just 22 days left before Christmas, we should look beyond the Christmas trees and lights that illuminates houses across this nation to discover the true meaning of Christmas and the reason we celebrate it.

A Higher Calling

It has been almost six months since my graduation. Being-a-total-freshman-college-student days are over. I have made new friends. I have met new people in my life that I talk with on a regular basis. My interpreters are wonderful. I have a very supportive family who cares deeply about me and provides me with nourishment, clothing and shelter above my head. Whenever I need some help, I always have somebody to talk with. Overall, I have no complaints about the life after high school so far.

Except one.

Oh, rest your minds at ease... what I said earlier is still true. The only discrepancy I'm talking about here is one thing that you do not expect me to bring up. It is not about anything major. It is not life threatening. It does not concern the matter of national security. It's more on a personal level.

In my schooling days, I was one of the most well respected kids because of the various things that I have done. Teachers respect me because I'm a hard-working student who strives to do his best in EVERY aspect of academic education. Kids respect me because I treat them just as I want them to treat me. Administrators likes me because I always carry a bright smile on my face and represent MSD well through various competitions such as Academic Bowl and Baseball tournaments. On my graduation day, many people came to me to bid their farewell because a new chapter of my life has begun on that day and they wanted to remind me how much they appreciate everything I've done for them.

I was honored and humbled by what people told me that day and will always cherish the comments. Is it because of all of my work done throughout the years? Perhaps. Was it because of my easygoing personality? Possibly. But was it the reason why I act that way? For pride and attention? For publicity? No. My action is for a higher calling, a purpose more noble than anything in my life.

I love to help people. I want to make their lives a bit happier and better. I've always been that kind of person. I want to bring a smile on their face because I believe that smile is an effective remedy to negative feelings. What brings a smile on our faces? We smile when other people smile at us. That is what I did to my friends until I graduated from high school. I wanted to show them the light within myself and give them a glimpse of Jesus. Yes, I failed at times, but I always have room to improve myself and become a more brilliant light in the world. My high school is a very dark place and the majority of the students there don't even know who God is. They even don't know a man named Jesus and the reason for his death 2,000 years ago. That breaks my heart. That is why my soul is heavy with burden. I feel great burden for all people who currently wander in the pitch-black darkness devoid of any hope or joy, searching for empty things to fill their void temporarily. I can feel my soul crying out from the deepest abyss of my body, "Go! Tell them about the hope you have in your life! Go and tell them before it is too late!"

I'm writing today to reaffirm my vow to follow the highest calling of my life. During one hot august night, few days after I recommitted my life to Christ, I received a vision. In that particular vision, Jesus came to me and recited the Great Commission from Matthew 28,

"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

I know that God afflicted upon me a disease called spinal meningitis that almost killed me (thus for the cause of my deafness) because it was His will for me to go into the world to spread the good news, no matter the cost. I know that I am called in my life to evangelize specifically to the deaf population about the saving Grace of Jesus Christ and to forcefully expand the Gospel to every corner of the world. I'm doing this for the sake of my friends. I hate to see them perish and suffer the judgment of God. This is something that will require my entire life to, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice. I don't fear death because I know where I am going when I die and look forward to that day.

Go ahead and laugh at me. Call me a fool. Call me stupid. A fanatic. That's fine with me. If the entire world hates me... that's fine. I strongly believe that everything in the world (money, pride, power, publicity... you name it) is but "a chasing after the wind" (as King Solomon puts it beautifully in Ecclessians). I am not going to waste my time pursuing empty wealth where I know that there is treasure stored for me in heaven alone where moth cannot get it.

What good will it serve to gain the whole world only to forfeit my soul? It is far better to lose everything in the world only to gain life in the eternity.

Why should I ignore this higher calling in my life?

Anguished soul

As the reality of world settled in, I'm sitting here right now in anguish to see people who I grew up with and love starting to embrace worldly things. Last I checked, many of people I knew went to wild parties (picture house-party style), drink alcohol, having sex, abandon their parents' wisdom, disrespect people and living out a Carpe Diem lifestyle. One of my closest friends started to curse her parents, speak in a language that she did not spoke for long time and decided to become more like others. As I watched my friends scatter across America (and overseas) this past summer through their online journals, I began to ponder about what would happen to them. Will they continue that type of lifestyle until they realize that they wasted their lives? Will they come to realization that the life they are living out is just an illusion? As I led my conscience through the questions, one question remains unanswered: do they know Jesus?

My face dissolved into tears as my soul aches to go to them, tell them to change their lives and introduce them to Jesus. I wanted them to experience the true fruits of life. It might seem like the life they are experiencing couldn't get any better, but they are misled. That made me feel guilty. I had ample opportunities to tell them about the love of Christ and even attempted to show them through my actions, but I'm not sure if I showed them. I prayed earnestly that I would be able to save somebody's soul... but I felt like I did not. Yes, people would say that somebody might remember me in the future about my faith in Christ, but I wonder... will there be anybody who will really remember me?

That is why I have resolved myself with the fullest determination that I would get into a ministry that will allow me to evangelize to other people who do not know Jesus. I want to be the light on the top of the hill that banishes all darkness away. I want to forcefully expand His kingdom into the farthest reach of the world so that His light shall shine in the dark corners. There are so many "I want" right now, but I won't do any of those until I sense that God is telling me to begin my missionary. There are so many people out there just like my "friends" who are lost and searching for some kind of satisfaction in a totally wrong place.

Brother and Sisters in Christ who are reading this... please pray for me. This is not easy for me to bear through all of that, but please pray that I will just increase my determination to evangelize to the whole world about the love and mercy that Jesus Christ our Lord has for the world. I pray that I won't face God as he asks me, "You send one of my child into hell because you decided to not to tell them about me just because you wanted to keep your social status."

2005 Graduation

"If you have built castles in the air, your work needs not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."

~Henry David Thoreau

Graduation is one of those things that you will remember for the rest of your life. There are many conflicting emotions among parents because the parents of the graduates are happy to see their children receive their diplomas but sad to see them ready to head off into the world.

That's the case with my parents. They are THRILLED to see me graduate as a young man but sad to see that the time to let me go as an adult is coming closer. They won't be driving to my school every Friday to pick me up, which turned into a kind of warm and memorable tradition. My mother loved that because she considered the time in the car with me very precious. On our way home, we would share moments of laughter, discussions or some periods of silencewhen I was exhausted. Every time when I was tired and sleeping in the car, I am sure that my mom watched me sleep in peace while she was driving (of course not the whole time... She needs to watch the road) and prayed for me. Today, I discovered that my mom's prayer time is almost always in the car. That is the only time when my mother would have time to reconnect herself with the Creator.

Back to the point... The graduation that I had was wonderful. Joshua did wonderfully on his graduation speech reminiscing the past titled "The Weight of the World" and Shana did a lovely introduction before it was my turn to give another speech about the future (Laying Our Foundations). Jennifer did a wonderful job writing her poem to be told by Jonathan, Ursa, Andre, Diana, Derrick and Nikki. My parents really enjoyed the graduation ceremony and commented that this was one ceremony that they've never seen in their lives. Each graduates, after receiving their diplomas, would be given a moment when they could talk to the audience about anything they wanted (such as thanking people, parents, teachers, school or just showing their sheer joy of finally graduating from school). In addition to that, the graduates were also given a chance to stand up in the front at the end of the ceremony for people to meet with them individually and tell their final farewells.

I want to grab this opportunity to thank my Father for blessing me so wonderfully on that day! I remember during the summer before I entered High School, I bowed down beside my bed and told Him to please bless me greatly and to help me make impact on people's lives. After the ceremony was over, many audience members came to me to tell me how wonderful my speech was and how they were very moved by my message. They also mentioned about how they were really blessed to know me and that they know that I would succeed in the future. When I started to realize how much people were telling me that, I just thanked my Lord for his extreme blessings upon my High School years. There are so many more blessings that He has given me and I could turn this into a novel if I could remember them all!

I want you to realize that God is an amazing guy! He gives you more than you really need only if you would ask. At times, I think that it is dangerous to ask Him for His blessings because that's like opening the floodgates and allow the water to rush toward you. Wow... He never ceases to amaze me!

Eagle Scout

Decorated with twenty-one merit badges sewn on a green sash and several patches on my shirt sleeves, I stood before forty people on the day of May 22, 2005 to rededicate myself to the oath that I have based my life upon during my whole seven years as a Boy Scout:

On my honor, I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country
And to obey the Scout Law;

To help other people at all times;

To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally staight.

As I reflected today on this oath that I rededicated myself to... I realized that those words within the Scout Oath is not just words. Using a metaphor of a potter and clay, those words are the potter and he molds the clay, which is a boy, into a young man who is prepared to face the world in the latter part of his life. Speaking of words... there are also another aspect of Boy Scouts that a boy must try live their lives upon: The Scout Law.

A Scout is...

Trustworthy.
Loyal.
Helpful.
Friendly.
Courtaeous.
Kind.
Obedient.
Cheerful.
Thrifty.
Brave.
Clean.
Reverent.

After seven years of reciting the Oath and Law, it has become more significant as I progressed during my journey toward Eagle Scout rank. If you will sum them all up... this is what character is all about. By definition, Character means "The combination of qualities or features that distinguishes one person, group, or thing from another" and "moral or ethical strength." As a boy starts off in his scouting career, he doesn't know anything about the Scout Oath nor the Law, but as years progress, he will learn to recite it by memory. You might think that those boys are being brainwashed repeating those words. I don't think that it's a brainwashing effort but a way of making the boys learn a certain set of principles to base his life upon as a gentleman instead of a boy who does not care anything about his life and follows the philosophy of "Carpe Diem" or "Seize the Day."

That is the philosophy that I do not advocate. To live under that banner means that you don't even care about your life and "just go with the flow." Going with the flow might mean having a casual sex or curse constantly while talking with other people. It could also mean go out and party hard until you drop. When you feel like robbing a store, do it. When you want to kill somebody, you would. Hurting somebody is okay. Bottom point: nothing is stopping you from seizing the day and living it as much as possible with no regrets.

I know that some of the situations that I presented above are a bit extreme and you would think, "This guy's just delusional because that's NOT what seizing the day is about." I just wanted to present some situation so ridiculous so you will see in a new light on what that philosophy might mean. I know nobody does those extreme cases such as murdering, kidnapping or robbing stores, but that is precisely what "Carpe Diem" means.

Now that brings around to my point... Boy Scouts of America strengthens character in a boy. It makes the boys think about the consequences of their actions and how to live above the standards of the world. This journey is laden with tests. Just as iron sharpens iron, testings that the boys face during his journey will sharpen him, making him more wise and more capable of distinguish between what is right and wrong.

That is one or many things that I have to thank Boy Scouts of America for. Being an Eagle Scout might mean a lot to some people, but the badge itself has no meaning to me. The hardships and testings that Boy Scouts of America gave me throughout those seven years have strengthened me and evolved a boy into a man with character. That is what my Eagle badge symbolizes. Without Boy Scouts of America, I don't know what I would have ended up as. I might be one of those people who says "eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die" only if Robert Boyce did not meet that unknown scouter on a foggy night in London.

If you are involved in Scouting movement as one of the leaders... I express my thanks on the behalf of the fellow Scouters for what you are doing.

The Death of Pope John Paul II

I am not a Catholic myself... I'm of a Christian origin, but I would like to take this opportunity to recognize a godly man who attempted to change the world in many ways. Even if he was a Pope and holds the most powerful position in the world, he still was able to humble himself and lower himself to relate with people of all nations. He has a God-given ability of speaking eight languages fluently and that helped John Paul II to spread the Gospel to every corner of the world. He even did something unexpected that most humans will not be willing to do... Forgiving his assassinate who shot in his abdomen twice. If I was in his shoes, I would not even dare to enter that prison cell and utter one word to this man who tried to take my life. To make the history of Pope John Paul II short... He was a man who was sincere with his faith to God and serious about leading his sweeps (since he was named as a shepherd metaphorically) as a spiritual leader. Moreover, Karol hostile is a simple man who was raised in Poland in Krakow (or also known as cracks) that took up the papacy when God wanted him to and attempted to show the world who Christ really is.

That made me look at myself on who I am. I am a Christian and I do follow God. I do go to church every Sunday. By the world's standard, I would be considered as a good, if not great, Christian. I try to walk closely with God and resist the world. I try to read the Bible everyday and to tell others about God and how much He loves them. Hey... I'm not perfect myself and it is impossible to be perfect since I am of a human nature. When I look at his life and what he did for all people in the world, for a moment, I thought that Pope John Paul II was probably Jesus Christ himself because everything that the media says about him was good. I slapped myself in the head and told myself, "No. He is not like Jesus Christ. In the Bible, it says that none are righteous, not even one." Instead of mourning for the death of a godly man, my heart leaped in joy because this is the only time I know that God would tell him in heaven, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

If you are a Christian and firmly believe that God is your personal savior, then I praise and greet you as my brother and sister in Christ! We have a job to do right now and that is to spread the Good News to every corner of the world! Stay firm in your relationship with God and do not err from Him for He is your Rock. This journey that you are taking today is a journey of constant renewal as you become as white as snow. It is not easy... I know. There is no greater joy than knowing that the all-mighty God would care about each souls in this world and desires to save us even if we are worthy of death in Hell.

If you happen to not be a believer, I offer you a message hope and joy greater than you can even imagine only if you are willing to listen today. If you want to hear about this wonderful message that the Pope and all Christians worldwide (including me) carry everyday... Please leave a message in this bloc and I would gladly talk with you about who God is and to answer your questions that you might have about Jesus. I'm not one of those people who will scream out of their throats, forcing you to change your beliefs and to accept Jesus. I am not somebody who claims to be holy and perfect because I know that I am not. Like I stated earlier in the post, I am just a human. I do make mistakes daily. This is a confession straight from my heart and I am not afraid to admit that. Your decision about whether to believe in Christ or not is purely your personal choice, not anybody else's. Please... I beg you... Drop a message leaving your email address in this bloc because my heart is very eager to share about Jesus and what he did for us on the Cross. This is probably one of the most important decisions that you will EVER make in your lifetime. Don't wait until it is too late. Please don't. Don't pass this opportunity and go on in your life without hearing what I have to say. Thank you.

Eggs, Bunnies and Candies

Chocolate is one thing that I cannot live without. Out of everything that I have eaten, I would rank chocolate bunnies as one of the best things I've tasted. I have eaten many chocolate bunnies throughout my life. I didn't bothered to look at him, study him and see how he looked like before I made his arms or head disappear quickly. Recently, I was in a candy store and I saw a chocolate bunny in a plastic box staring at me with a smiling face. Instead of picking him off the shelf, I paused and stared at this creature, seemingly frozen in time. I began to wonder what he is thinking behind the plastic wrapper.

"Don't eat me! Eat him," "Take me home, please," "psst... psst... Do I look good?" In the deepest shadow of my mind, I swore that I heard a whispering scream echoing from that box saying, "WHO AND WHY IS THIS DETESTABLE AND HAIRLESS THING STARING AT ME!?" What I mentioned above is probably far from what this chocolate bunny is thinking, but I sure hope that he is not assuming that I would take him home as his pet! If he is, he's in for an unpleasant surprise.

Chocolate bunnies are one of things firmly attributed with Easter, but it seems like people forgot the reason why Easter was founded in the first place. Take a moment and ask yourselves, "What is the true reason for Easter?" You probably already know the reason for this holiday, but do you know the TRUE meaning behind Easter? It is not about chocolate bunnies. It is not about marshmallow bunnies or peeps. It is not about candies that you receive in the morning. The whole reason this holiday began is to remember a man who died such a horrid and shameful death: Jesus Christ.

"Oh my gosh... Here he goes again! I have heard enough about this already! Enough preaching about Jesus who is long dead!"

Listen my friends... just give me a chance to tell you about the reason why this day exist. Instead of reading what I have to say about this season, I want to present you with a short article that I found after searching on Google.

It's the cross. It was the instrument of torture and unimaginable pain, not a piece of jewelry or an icon of mystical power.

It's the blood. Hot, pulsing and running down human flesh, coming from degrading, humiliating, beyond painful, physical punishment.

It's the end of the story about the little Baby in the manger who came to die in submission and humility for us.

It's the beginning of the story about the Alpha and Omega, the One who stands in power and majesty for us, resurrected to eternal life and exalted to His own Kingdom.

It's victory; a once and for all, end-of-the-world kind of victory. The resurrection is a complete and total victory over death, and over anything that leads to death.

It's for all who want it, for the entire world, for the entire universe, for God's kingdom forever! And for you and for me, in our own little worlds.

It's finished. Done with, over, complete. We need to do nothing but accept it.

It's free, but it will cost everything and you will give it willingly because once you have fully tasted it's freedom, you will see that it is priceless.

And that, my brother and my sister, is the result and reason for Easter.

Excerpted from http://www.thischristianlife.com/articles/byrd0302b.html

After reading this short excerpt, let me express my thoughts on this topic. Easter is not all about chocolate bunnies, candies or eggs. Easter was established to honor a man named Jesus Christ who died on the Cross for ALL of our sins so that we can be reunited with God. All of your personal faults that you did in the past will be forgiven. Eradicated. Forgotten. The only requirement that God has for us is to give up our lives willingly to God and believe that Jesus Christ died on the Cross and resurrected on the third day from death. This gift that God has for you right now is priceless. What else in the world can compare this to what God has to offer to you?

Take a moment and think about this... this is one of the biggest decision that you will face in your lifetime. Whatever you decide will have consequences. Let me tell you something... I cannot force you to start believing in God. It is your own choice.

Before you switch to another Blog or do something else, grant me one favor. Please read this poem titled "Salvation" by Joseph Raymond because it speaks from my own heart.

I am one of Adam's race

whose nature betrays the truth

like all those who have come before

I'm stained with the mark of sin

for in my mind I'll have my own way

not heeding the call of my heart

for my flesh cries aloud, "Give, Give"

and I as a slave obey.

Justified, justified, I cry aloud

yet God's hand presses down

'til choices made exact the toll

of conscience seared and dead.

No right have I to heavens realm

where life and love abound

for all fall short, all have sinned

I await the penalty due.

Once in time His grace appeared

so very long ago

Bethlehem's child was born that day

to pay the price foretold

and not for His but ours it's said

upon death's cross He hung.

With final breathe and blood outpoured

He cried, "dear Abba, 'tis done".

It was not long He stayed below

for Father's love remembered

was not for His but others life

the ransom price was paid.

With but a touch, embued new life

and raised him from the dead

new Adam, new race, new covenant,

for all who'd but believe.

For me and you it has been done

To give this gift so vital

immortal life, eternal love,

a way through heaven's portal.

With heart belief comes righteousness

salvation with mouth is made

proclaiming truth with heartfelt faith

newness of life begins.

No more the Jew nor gentile be

distinction can't be found

for now the time for all to make

decision, loss or gain.

The cross of Christ divides in two

the mass of people here

no more shall I be put to shame

his cross of love I'll bear.

Not by works, nor by law

but mercy couched in grace

believe He is the Son of God

who paid the debt of old.

Anointed one, Lord of life

come to me this day

I humbly bow my knee to you

as life begins anew.

Excerpted from http://www.christianmuse.com/heartsongs/p-salvation.shtml

O Cruel World!

Terri Schiavo is probably one of the most famous people that we know in our generation. Many people are fighting for her survival (as well as her ultimate death) and the media is covering this story heavily in the recent weeks. In some media stations (such as CNN, ABC and CBS), they assure us repeatedly that Terri is in PVS (Persistent Vegetative State) and deserves to die.

I'm here to tell you that this is NOT true at all.

Here's an excerption from www.terrisfight.net:

"The definition of PVS in Florida Statue 765.101:

Persistent vegetative state means a permanent and irreversible condition of unconsciousness in which there is:

(a) The absence of voluntary action or cognitive behavior of ANY kind.
(b) An inability to communicate or interact purposefully with the environment.

Terri's behavior does not meet the medical or statutory definition of persistent vegetative state. Terri responds to stimuli, tries to communicate verbally, follows limited commands, laughs or cries in interaction with loved ones, physically distances herself from irritating or painful stimulation and watches loved ones as they move around her. None of these behaviors are simple reflexes and are, instead, voluntary and cognitive. Though Terri has limitations, she does interact purposefully with her environment."

The state that she is in now is nothing comparing to some people that I have heard about throughout the years. Some people is in a condition far more worse than her. Some people have a disorder (forgot the name) where their brain will swell to an unpropotional and unbelievable size that they will eventually become into, as my father puts it, worms. My father majored in Biology at University of Arizona in Tucson, AZ and part of his coursework requires him to take a tour of a place where those type of people reside. He told me stories about a man who is in his twenties having this kind of condition. His pituitary gland is severly damaged that he has no growth hormones to regulate his growth. As a result of this, he remained as a baby lying on a crib with an enormous enlarged head after years of excess accumulation of fluid in his brain. He is only able to move his body a bit, but his head is impossible to move at all.

Killing a person by starvation is very inhumane. According to Florida's law, if you don't give a dog water, you will be arrested and put in jail for animal cruelity. There is thousands of dogs out there in Florida and elsewhere. Now... to kill a person by starvation and thirst... does that makes them any indifferent from dogs? In our nation, it seems like our value for life is gone.

After hearing about this, does it makes you wonder... does this guy deserve to die because he is suffering from this disorder? Is Terri in far more worse state than his? Should Terri die because her husband wishes her to? Is it because he does not want to face this problem and marry another woman more beautiful than her?

It just baffles me...