I found this online, and thought I would share you this rather humorous piece. Enjoy!---
1. no1 b4 me. srsly.
2. dnt wrshp pix/idols
3. no omg's
4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
5. pos ok - ur m&d r cool
6. dnt kill ppl
7. :-X only w/ m8
8. dnt steal
9. dnt lie re: bf
10. dnt ogle ur bf's m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.
M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.
ttyl,
JHWH.
ps. wwjd?
I came across the joke this week from Patriot Humor, a publication of The Patriot Post (www.patriotpost.us), and I could not resist to share it with you all. Enjoy!
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The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse. "I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die", whispered the priest. "I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived. Harry and Nancy would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Harry commented to Nancy "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images." Nancy couldn't help but agree.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Nancy's hand in his right hand and Harry's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally Nancy spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
The old priest continued...
"He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same."
I received this story through an e-mail forward message, and it was too good to let it pass! Enjoy!
In Florida , an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover holy days. He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case Against Christians, Jews and observances of their holy days. The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days. The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the passionate presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring,"Case dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others. The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah,yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays."
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully ignorant."
The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists."
The judge said, "The calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.' Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day. Court is adjourned."
1) The best scenic views are clearly designated by highway signs reading NO STOPPING ANYTIME.
2) Edward Steichen owned a three-legged dog, which he named Tripod.
3) The Post Office folds all parcels containing photographs.
4) Camera straps never fail above soft surfaces.
5) Lens caps can become invisible at will.
6) Financial success in photography is directly related to proper choice of subject matter. Falling airplanes, exploding volcanoes, and certain Presidential motorcades work best.
7) No two light meters agree.
8) The work "Daguerreotype" cannot be spelled correctly.
9) A new Hasselblad would take better pictures than your present camera.
10) 1/60 at f/8 is the correct exposure for all photographs.
11) When your friends finally realize that you are a true artist, committed to making sensitive and meaningful images, they will ask you to photograph their wedding.
12) Color slide viewing cures insomnia.
13) On any tripod, only two legs work properly.
14) Dust spot are attracted to sky areas.
15) YES, DARKROOM PHOTOGRAPHERS DO IT IN THE DARK... but they have to stop every thirty seconds to agitate.
16) There is nothing wrong with a Point & Shoot camera that a SLR can't cure.
17) Ansel Adams has three Secret Zones known only to him.
18) Fast ISO speeds compensate for slow photographers.
19) Mounting a photograph is a misdemeanor in Arkansas.
20) Owning more than one lens assures that you will always have the wrong lens on the camera for any given picture.
21) A camera store will charge $200 to repair a camera that has been adjusted with a butter knife.
22) Falling lenses are attracted to rocks.
23) Into every life a little dust and digital noise must fall.
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