Reflection

Today, as the sun approaches the end of this day, I can't help but to sit back and reflect on my year. As I descended deeper into my thoughts, I can't help but smile about all blessings that I have received during this year. At times of despair, I got hope. When murky fog clouds my head, Wisdom came. When the little devil on my shoulder taunts me into doing bad things, a sweep across the shoulder is all he got.

I have accomplished many things (far more than I would ever expect to) this year. Completing a two-years-long flagpole project and reaching the pinnacle of my Scouting career by becoming into a Eagle Scout. Graduating from my educational institution after seventeen years with glowing faces of my family and teachers. Spoke to my entire class and the local deaf community at my graduation. Starting another journey into my life by challenging myself at a college. Being bold and took a step forward into the hearing world, something that shook the deaf community.

Those things might seem miniscule to you, but to me, it was labeled with bold black words, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. As I looked over the things that I have succeeded into doing, a quiet voice nudged me and said, "Remember the King of kings." Upon realizing what it was suggesting, all of my current worries disspated like fine grain of dust blown away into oblivion by strong gust of wind. As I emptied myself, I became full again. Full with His grace and love. I have never felt any more fuller. Before I knew Him personally, I tried to replace worldly things to make myself feel content with life. Nothing worked. Money did not... neither power, authority of the world, fame nor agape love from my family. Nothing can consummate my soul's utmost desire of being satisfied with my life... except for His boundless and endless love.

All of my achievements I had done this past year... became nothing. They became non-existent. They passed from my mind and I realized that one of the greatest gifts that I have received in my life (during this year and the years to come)... His salvation.

Just when I thought I was full, I was empty.
Just when I thought I was found, I was lost.
Just when I thought I could see, I was blind.
Just when I thought I had everything in my life and could not ask for more,
I was utterly deceived.

O Cursed lion! Just when I try to cast you out of my body,
You gleefully fasten your claws with malice in your eyes,
The flames, O! how bright and how fierce they are!
Like a hapless prey I freeze in horror while
This king of beasts lowers himself to trounce upon me.

O Cursed lion! Just when I try to kill you,
You revealed your teeths.
All the weapons of the world became like toothpicks.
How sharp and horny they are!
If the lethality of those horrible fangs are not enough,
They are stained with the last drops from my exilir,
Doomed to drip down into the expanse of infinity.

O Cursed lion! Just when I try to flee,
You easily counter my actions by blocking my way.
You do this so effortlessly that I finally figured that you will tire me out before
Exinguishing my candle.

Just when I thought I was defeated,
A fanatic yelp was heard and the lion was nowhere to be seen.
Filled with confusion, I hastily got up to my feet only to be forced back down.
Fear overcame me as I turned around to see what held me down.
It was the Lion.

His mane, how wide and shiny!
His sinews, how stately and shapely!
His jaws, how so white and wide!
His feet, how powerful and honed with steel claws!
His music, how lovely!

As he roared, fear did not overcome me.
The iron strings of my heart moved,
Its music far more beautiful than anything else in the world.
Its deep note engulfed the whole region while,
On his back, a creature gazed in amazement.

This Lion is like no other lions!
Crown of refined gold and chociest of all jewels adorns his head,
Royal tunic of purple silk flows from his neck and covers his body!

In the full splendor of his power,
Something happened.
Instead of commanding me to serve him as a laborer,
The Crown was taken off, laid on the ground.
Instead of taking me away into the unknown,
The Tunic was unbuttoned and wrapped around me.
The massive paw laid on my shoulder,
His eyes pierced my eyes.
A nod of my head was the only thing needed.
I finally understood.

The Morning After Christmas

A day has passed... the sun has set and rose again upon us. All gifts are opened and most clothes tried on. Our feasts already eaten and we are just waking up from a long night of slumber. Stores across the nation begins to rebreathe life into themselves. Malls open early to accept a wave of shoppers who are returning or buying things with outrageous discounts posted across the department stores. Young teenagers and adults head up to the mountain to ski down the snow-capped mountain. The night time light displays begin to disappear across the country. Christmas trees' decorations taken down, stowed away for another season and trees prepped to be discarded in the dump. The pulse in the artery of life resumed this morning.

What happened to Christmas? What happened to the jovial nature of Christmas? Why do we return so quickly to our normal lives, forgetting the very blessed day that we experienced just less than twenty-four hours ago? What happened to the time that we enjoyed so much being with the family?

Most importantly... what happened to Christ?

It amazes me how quickly we seem to forget that Christ, the long-awaited Messiah who was born in Bethelehem in a lowly stable and the promised Savior that was foretold thousands of years before his arrival, was forgotten. I could compare Christmas to a sparrow that entered a barn door and exited another one, just spending merely seconds inside. That is how quickly Christmas seemed to be.

For me, this Christmas was special. This was the first Christmas on Sunday that was filled with profound meaning to me as a true Christian. After opening presents and eating together with my family, we headed to a church service that was filled with joyful shouts of praise. My soul felt very joyful and felt like it wanted to burst open and shout endless praises to God for His arrival. Even if a few peopleshowed up (less than 1/3 of normal number of people), it didn't hamper the spirit of Christmas and His birthday. To me, it was the first time when I really sang Jesus a "Happy Birthday" song.

It made me think as I sang this song... where is Christ in my life? I know that he is Immanuel (God within) and he resides inside me through the indwelling Holy Spirit who serves to be my counsel whenever I need it. I know that he never forsakes me. Since he dwells inside me, I should give something back to him. What could match the gift that He gave to me? More importantly, have I placed my 100% commitment to Christ?

I have tried... and tried... and tried... but I have failed.

I didn't despaired. Instead, that serves me as a fuel to strive to become more and more like Christ (santification) and I know that in the end, when I die, I will be joyfully received in the Kingdom of Heaven with Christ's arms open and the words, "Welcome home, my child!" Filled with that thought, I have given my gift to Christ in the church. I gave him the gift of my total commitment to Him.

What does it mean by a total commitment to Christ?

Setting aside myself and allowing Him to reign in my life. Loving neighbors as I love myself. Honor and revere Lord my God and not bowing down before other gods of the world (money, power, fame, etc.). Not judging others (except for the purpose of spiritual discipline and rebuking in a loving ways) lest I would be judged by the same measures. Loving my enemies and bless them who presecute me. When somebody strikes me on a cheek, turn to another cheek instead of striking back. Embracing prostitutes and fornificators, not condemning them for their past actions (even if they were wrong and goes against what Christ teaches). Loving the poor and rich equally. Never turn anybody away when they need help the most.

This list is just a scratch on the surface, but what makes this faith so simple yet difficult to live by is because it goes against our very human nature (sin-ridden and filthy) who desires only carnal things. With the power of Holy Spirit and the willingness to allow Him take control of my life, I will be able to conquer each of those behemoth obstacles in my life and cultivate His deepest intimacy. The world will notice me and say, "Look at this fool... worshipping this so-called God of universe" and presecute me... but powers nor demons nor angels nor governments nor anything in the world will SEPARATE ME FROM THE LOVE OF CHRIST.

The immatchable love of God is the only true gift that I will ever receive. All materials that I get from people (nice, they are) will perish and fade away, but the amazing grace that saved a wretch like me is a gift that will not decay, but will continue to flourish every moment of my life and into the eternity.

That is why I celebrate Christmas, Jesus Christ's birthday.

The Truth about Christmas

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this.

~Isaiah 9:6-7 (NIV)

Admist all the lights and jovial nature of Christmas season, there is a lot of reasons to celebrate this season. Family reunions. Gifts. White Christmas (for those who are fortunate enough). Hot Cider. Cookies. Delicious dinner. One of my greatest sins, not surprisingly, is cookies and once I smell the aroma of my mother's kitchen as she makes cookies, I could understand how that dog in Pavlov's experiment felt when food was presented in his environment.

For those who have not taken Psychology class, this is an experiment conducted by Pavlov in late nineteenth and early twenieth century to experiment the behavior of animals **in this case, a dog** once a stimuli is presented in the environment. This allowed him to reach to a conclusion that once the brain detects the scent of a food, it instructs our salvinary glands to start salvinate to prepare for the process of digesting food.

Have you ever noticed a scene of an infant in swaddling of cloth in a hay-filled manger? Have you ever slowed down to look at this delicate creature with two parents watching over him? Ever wondered who that babe was? Why are there so many scenes close to houses and churches across the America? Most importantly... why is this holiday more widely known as Christmas?

Look at the name itself. CHRIST - MAS. The first six letters constitutes of a man who revolutionized the whole world... Jesus Christ. Catholic Church considered his birth so significant that they designated two different time periods: BC (Before Christ) and AD (After David *Jesus was born on the lineage of King David, a famous king of Israel who strove to honor God throughout his whole life*) in our calendar. This is the reason why we celebrate this season... the birth of the one who was the long-anticipated Messiah.

This is also one of Isaiah's many prophencies being fulfilled (look at the verse at the beginning) and one of many prophencies that other prophets have made in the past. The number of prophencies are staggering and the statistics of fulfilling even ONE Messianic prophencies are one out of billions... and EVERY SINGLE ONE of those 256 prophecies are fulfilled. Even more, there are many more prophecies about Christ's death and EVERY SINGLE ONE of those prophencies are also fulfilled. There is no discrepancy in any of those ones and it gives strong indication of how the Bible is not fallible or errant, but instead God-breathed and God-inspired.

Why should there be any doubt that Christ's birth actually did happened in Bethlehem in a stable with shepherds and wise men as witnesses? Why do you doubt the existence of Christ? Out of all those prophecies being fulfilled, why do you still not believe that Christ is actually the long-awaited Messiah promised by God to save us all from His wrath? Why do you STILL resist Him just like the Jews do? The Messiah has already come on Earth, perished on the Cross, died and went to Hell for three days, rose from the dead and went to be with His Father only to return again sometimes in the future to judge the living and the dead.

Just submit yourselves to Him and He will make you more satisfied in your life than ever! You will never feel like a prisoner held captivated by things that is very burdensome to you. I was one of those people who resisted before until I realized that I would not begin to live as fully as possible if it was not for His saving Grace. His Grace is what makes the blind see again, the mute speak again and restores hope in everybody. Just accept the gift... and make this your first REAL Christmas. The first Christmas without the Santa, reindeers, lights, music, and parties... and make it the first one with your Savior.

What will your choice be? Heaven or Hell?

Christmas: An Holy Incarnation

In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God."

~Luke 1:26-30

Right now, Christmas season is in a full swing. Outrageous sales is going on now to lure customers to buy various kinds of goodies. Holiday pressure is settling in as Christmas is just two weeks away. The holiday tension and excitement is starting to become evident as various lighted display begins to appear across America. Some displays are very brilliant and colorful that we just can't help but slow down to admire the illuminated beauty of the night. Don't get me wrong here... I love the lighted displays that people erect in their front yards because they enhance the spirit of Christmas. Let it be Santa or Jesus, it is what makes this holiday season truly joyful.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if this holiday was not formed in America? No lights? No outrageous sales in malls? No joyful sayings of "Merry Christmas" and "Silent Night, Holy Night..."? No Message of Hope? This season would be dull and December would just be another month of snow with no meaning. Moreover, even if we still celebrate this kind of holiday, it would just prove to be meaningless and vainful.

"Holy Incarnation? What do you mean by that?" By definition, the word "incarnation" means "a bodily manifestation of a supernatural being." If you will read a bit further in Luke 1, Gabriel will tell Mary that she has been indwelled with the Holy Spirit and will give birth to a son who will be named Jesus, meaning Messiah or the Anointed One. The reason why God chose Mary to bear his Son is because she was favored in God's eyes.

In this Christmas story, Mary was given seven gifts: 1) Pregancy, 2) A Son, 3) Virgin birth, 4) Joshua, 5) Raising the Son of God, 6) Mother to the Most High, and 7) Mother of the Savior. Imagine you receiving this wonderful gift of God by bearing his own son? It would be an enormous honor you will ever receive in your life (including the future generations). Since that is not possible, there still remain the greatest gift that we can receive today... only if you will seek, ask and knock. Once you knock, the door will be opened. That is a promise.

Want to know the greatest gift you will receive in the future? Stay posted as more entries come up throughout this Christmas season.

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

~Matthew 7:7-8

Love your neighbors

For the past few days, I have reflected on what happened during a conversation with my childhood friend whose relationship has strained in the past few years. She (who will be called Sue) left me a instant message on my MSN Messenger while I was browsing the web with one question that almost snapped me:

I am going to ask you for the last time... when will you send me a graduation picture with both of us?!

Just to let you know, I have a history of pulling things off until somebody forces me to do it at that moment (but trust me, my readers... I'm not as bad as it might seem... it only happens infrequently). Sadly, this happens to be the case this time, but for a long time, I have always assumed that my mother already send her mother the picture of our graduation a bit after her college started.

Fuming with a growing sense of frustration, I almost lashed out at her that night. For several months, I attempted to be nice with her but only received "What do you want," "Get to the point of this conversation" instead of a simple and cheerful "I'm doing good... how about you?" Instead of letting my mouth fly out of control, I composed myself for a few moments and responded with a simple but cheerful "Hello :)" before starting to tell her about how I observed Suefrom the past month based on her conversations with me.

You know... I could have abandoned you a long time ago. I could have removed you from my e-mail address book, blocked you from being able to send me e-mails and blocked you from all of my messaging systems, thereby blocking you out of my life... but I didn't because it is not what Jesus would have done. He never turned away anybody during his life.

There was a long silence before she finally responded with a response (roughly rephrased based on my memory), "I don't want to throw away our friendship down the drain, but after taking some classes with you, you proved to me that you existed to be my competitor. I think my actions have proved it to you" and "I have thought about what you have said to me about how you cared for me, but, ever since u became 'spiritual person,' you seem to be forced into embracing everybody."

Oh, I was never forced in embracing anybody... I chose to. Just as I chose to believe in Christ, I chose to embrace you not only because I care about you but also because I want to imitate Christ as closely as possible. What will it require from me to get through your thick head to make you realize that I CARE ABOUT YOU???

The words "I care about you" stuck in my mind for a long time. This was the last thing I would expect myself to tell somebody who have expressed hatred and jealousy. This stands in contradiction with my human nature and I couldn't stop thinking, "I didn't know what I just said... it seems like it is not who I am speaking, but the indwelling Holy Spirit is."

If you love Lord your God with your whole heart, mind, soul and strength, then nothing else matters in your life except for serving God and pleasing Him. Isn't it odd... the whole world craves for true love, but when we discover who the True Love is, they reject it? Isn't it odd... when people desire to be loved by others, but when Christians express their love to their enemies, they only reap hatred?

I have come to a realization today. If you do truly love God and are willing to surrender everything in your life just to serve Him... miracles happen. Just as Jesus told his disciples, "All authority is given to me in Heaven. Go therefore and make disciples of ALL nations..." Matthew 28:18-19 (emphasis added), Jesus tells us to go and spread the Good News to everybody. Jesus did give us a warning that if we deny His name before other people, then Jesus will deny us before his Father. Our faith is a very rewarding one, but not without consequences. There will be presecution, hatred, insulting remarks, and every kinds of evil, but do not fear, my friends, for they hate Christ, not us.

Surrender everything and start loving others. Imitate Christ. Let your light shine in the world brightly. You will make a difference in someone's life.

Snow

One of my wintertime favorites is going outside while it is snowing to look up at the sparkling snowflakes as they fall lazily down from the grey sky. I love to stand in the midst of a snowstorm (if I am lucky) and watch the landscape transform into a wintry wonderland. That really makes me want to go out and hit the slopes (I only went up the mountain once... with a mind set on being a pro snowboarder). I can be really miserable sometimes (that is, falling every few feet) but I just love going down a hill with snow whizzing past my face (if I am lucky enough). This kind of experience is very relaxing until I find myself face-full with cold snow.

If I am not 'boarding... after some quality time outside being dazzled by the beauty of the snowflakes, I would return back nippy into my toasty home with a blazing fire in the hearth and make myself a cup of hot chocolate to warm up. Inhaling the soothing aroma of a steaming mint-flavored hot chocolate cup, I would continue to stare outside and watch the flakes fall delicately to the ground. Time didn't existed. Time stretches into infinity. If the snow did not stopped falling to the ground, I could probably just sit at the front of a window and look like I lost myself in that whiteness. All of my worries and concerns... simply ceased to exist. All of my present-day troubles... disappeared. What I experience during those moment is a period of peace and rest.

I don't get that feeling often because snow rarely fall here in Maryland sufficiently during the day for me to stare at for hours, but I can get the same feeling in a different way. I get that when I meditate and talk with God in private. When I isolate myself in a room with no distractions from my parents or the outside world, that is when Father comes to me and talk with me in my heart. My yoke is replaced with His. His yoke is light (feather-light) and all of my troubles fade because I am reminded that He takes care of everything for me. He comes into my heart to caress me and strengthen me. That is the time when I can worship, honor, praise, cry, shout in joy, mourn and give thanks. That is when I really love chapter 23 from the Psalms... they provide a great meditation and prayer tool when I am lacking words:

The Lord is my Shepherd... He leads me beside still waters; He restores my soul... As I walk through the valley of shadow and death, I shall fear no evil for thy rod and staff, they comfort me...

Those are one of many promises contained within the Bible. God restores your soul and set all of your anxieties aside. He will comfort you and reassure you that He will never leave nor forsake you... NOT ONCE. He never did to me. That provides great refuge for my heart because whatever happens in my life, I know that God will always be with me side-by-side. God promises you the same thing for all of your past, present and future troubles. Prayer is the most powerful tool that a saint can have... and it is not only reserved for pastors or leaders of the church. You can do it and it is not hard. No fancy jargon or terminology necessary to impress God. Prayer is a meaningful conversation between God and you, so meaningful that once you get so absorbed into it, time ceases to exist.

That is one thing that I love about prayers and that is why I find myself giving thanks to God for everything in my life and for the beauty of his Creation. I try to spend a lot of time with Him in quiet prayer and meditation so that I may cultivate true intimacy and taste his Peace. True and Absolute Peace. This is a great season to be still and watch the snowflakes descend from the sky with our eyes fixed upwardly toward our heavenly Father as a delicate flake falls on our noses.

Christmas: A Time of Anticipation

This is a time of season when we look forward to receiving gifts. We eagerly make list of things that we would like to open from under the Christmas tree (note: it is not a "holiday tree"). According to the national news, one of the most requested items that kids ask their parents to get is a nano ipod. Other things that kids might ask from their parents range from clothes to gimmicks to televisions. Some might even go as far as asking their parents, "can you buy me one of those Lexus cars with a red ribbon on the top of it" or "Lamborghini, please? At least I want to try to catch Santa next year when he lands on my roof."

This is also a season of joy and sadness. Some of the America's finest Patriots (read: troops) are out there fighting a war aimed at liberating a country from the heavy hand of a dictator. They are fighting over there for the sake of our freedom, even when it seems like it is for their sake. I am not going to dedicate myself to the politics of the war in this one... it is a whole another discussion to cover in the future, but there are many families whose soldiers won't be home with them during the Christmas season. My prayer is always with them until the day they return home. Even in the midst of sadness, they can still express their inner joy by knowing that their sons and daughters are out there fighting for a just and noble cause. They know that in Iraq, those men are considered as their national heroes.

It makes me wonder about one thing during this season. Since we celebrate Christmas, do any of us really know how precious that gift is? Do we ever take the time to thank our ancestors who fought so hard and shed their blood for a cause that they believed in? Do we really know how much they surrendered in the past for this nation and for their descendants to give us this privilege to celebrate?

In midst of shopping frenzy and stress, we need to stop ourselves during this season, forget the list of things that needs to be accomplished and just gaze at that green tree decorated with illuminating lights and ornaments. As we gaze at it, we should ponder, "What is the real reason for Christmas? What makes this holiday so important to America?" What makes this holiday so important to everybody? It is not just about tradition, waking up early in the morning to kids' gleeful and excited cries of "Wake up! It's Christmas" or Santa Claus and his jovial "Ho! Ho! Ho!" With just 22 days left before Christmas, we should look beyond the Christmas trees and lights that illuminates houses across this nation to discover the true meaning of Christmas and the reason we celebrate it.

A Higher Calling

It has been almost six months since my graduation. Being-a-total-freshman-college-student days are over. I have made new friends. I have met new people in my life that I talk with on a regular basis. My interpreters are wonderful. I have a very supportive family who cares deeply about me and provides me with nourishment, clothing and shelter above my head. Whenever I need some help, I always have somebody to talk with. Overall, I have no complaints about the life after high school so far.

Except one.

Oh, rest your minds at ease... what I said earlier is still true. The only discrepancy I'm talking about here is one thing that you do not expect me to bring up. It is not about anything major. It is not life threatening. It does not concern the matter of national security. It's more on a personal level.

In my schooling days, I was one of the most well respected kids because of the various things that I have done. Teachers respect me because I'm a hard-working student who strives to do his best in EVERY aspect of academic education. Kids respect me because I treat them just as I want them to treat me. Administrators likes me because I always carry a bright smile on my face and represent MSD well through various competitions such as Academic Bowl and Baseball tournaments. On my graduation day, many people came to me to bid their farewell because a new chapter of my life has begun on that day and they wanted to remind me how much they appreciate everything I've done for them.

I was honored and humbled by what people told me that day and will always cherish the comments. Is it because of all of my work done throughout the years? Perhaps. Was it because of my easygoing personality? Possibly. But was it the reason why I act that way? For pride and attention? For publicity? No. My action is for a higher calling, a purpose more noble than anything in my life.

I love to help people. I want to make their lives a bit happier and better. I've always been that kind of person. I want to bring a smile on their face because I believe that smile is an effective remedy to negative feelings. What brings a smile on our faces? We smile when other people smile at us. That is what I did to my friends until I graduated from high school. I wanted to show them the light within myself and give them a glimpse of Jesus. Yes, I failed at times, but I always have room to improve myself and become a more brilliant light in the world. My high school is a very dark place and the majority of the students there don't even know who God is. They even don't know a man named Jesus and the reason for his death 2,000 years ago. That breaks my heart. That is why my soul is heavy with burden. I feel great burden for all people who currently wander in the pitch-black darkness devoid of any hope or joy, searching for empty things to fill their void temporarily. I can feel my soul crying out from the deepest abyss of my body, "Go! Tell them about the hope you have in your life! Go and tell them before it is too late!"

I'm writing today to reaffirm my vow to follow the highest calling of my life. During one hot august night, few days after I recommitted my life to Christ, I received a vision. In that particular vision, Jesus came to me and recited the Great Commission from Matthew 28,

"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

I know that God afflicted upon me a disease called spinal meningitis that almost killed me (thus for the cause of my deafness) because it was His will for me to go into the world to spread the good news, no matter the cost. I know that I am called in my life to evangelize specifically to the deaf population about the saving Grace of Jesus Christ and to forcefully expand the Gospel to every corner of the world. I'm doing this for the sake of my friends. I hate to see them perish and suffer the judgment of God. This is something that will require my entire life to, but I'm willing to make that sacrifice. I don't fear death because I know where I am going when I die and look forward to that day.

Go ahead and laugh at me. Call me a fool. Call me stupid. A fanatic. That's fine with me. If the entire world hates me... that's fine. I strongly believe that everything in the world (money, pride, power, publicity... you name it) is but "a chasing after the wind" (as King Solomon puts it beautifully in Ecclessians). I am not going to waste my time pursuing empty wealth where I know that there is treasure stored for me in heaven alone where moth cannot get it.

What good will it serve to gain the whole world only to forfeit my soul? It is far better to lose everything in the world only to gain life in the eternity.

Why should I ignore this higher calling in my life?