Dreben, Mstislval orphanage – Update #3

From an e-mail on 1/3/10 at 1:09 pm EST:

Dear friends & family,

I can't express how much your thoughts and prayers have meant to us while on this trip so far. So many of you have sent your love and prayers our way - thank you so much! It's almost like you're here with us in Belarus.

It's been a while since I've had access to a computer to be able to send an update email. The past 4 days have been very busy, so I'll try to summarize as best I can, but I'm afraid this may be a long email!

When you last heard from me, Rich, Joe & I were getting ready to head to Msistlval where the deaf orphanage is located. The ride there was interesting in and of itself! Valentina had rented or borrowed a van and a man drove it for us. They picked us up at the ARK house where we were staying and drove through Mogilev. Our first stop was to change some US dollars into Belarusian rubles at the supermarket. Wow - the supermarket was a crazy place... We also bought lots of bottled water since we can't drink the water here. (You'd be amazed how much you treasure clean water at home when you're in a country where you can't just go to a sink to get a glass of water!) Then we headed to Dreben to get Krystina (Rich's). It was about a 2 hour drive.

Dreben was a small town - apartments on one side of the road, many stories high. On the other side of the road were small homes. We found Krystina's apartment building and she came down to let us in (all the apartment buildings are locked here and someone has to come let you in the main door). We were all so happy to see each other again! Her foster mom Natasha invited us in, and we got to see where Krystina lives. It was probably a 3-4 room apartment - a living room, bedroom, kitchen and toilet. Natasha earns a living by keeping foster children. She has Krystina now. One week ago she got a new little boy named Artom. The government took him away from his mother because she was an alcoholic and he was living and playing in dirt in the home where his mother lived. When the government took him away he was very sick and had to go to the hospital for a while before coming to Natasha's home. He was a very cute little boy - about 1 1/2 years old. Unfortunately Natasha will only be able to keep him in her home for 6 months. Then he will most likely go to an orphanage, unless his mother cleans herself up and can show she can provide for him. More than likely, he'll end up like the many other social orphans in Belarus living out the rest of his childhood in an orphanage or foster home. It was so sad to hold that little boy and know there was nothing we could do to help him have a good family home to grow up in, other than pray that the government of Belarus will one day allow international adoptions again. Natasha served us (as is Belarusian culture when anyone comes to visit - ESPECIALLY Americans!) meats, bread, tea (chai in Russian), wine, and cookies. After visiting, we left with Krystina and headed to Msistlval.

Upon arriving in Msistlval, we went to Valentina's home. It was late already, so we couldn't go to the deaf orphanage. She cooked us a pasta dish with a meat sauce on top along with some other food. We met her husband Baris, and chatted for a while that night. It ended up that Krystina & I slept together in the one and only bed in the house. Rich and Joe slept on a pull out sofa. Valentina & her husband slept in her kitchen. Their only son stayed at his grandmother's home. Their apartment was small, but basically fine. A small kitchen, hall, bedroom, & living room. One toilet and bathtub (both in very tiny rooms).

Our first full day in Msistlval was quite exciting as we headed to the deaf orphanage around 9:30 am. We were excited to go meet the children and see Krystina (Joe's) & Marharyta. The orphanage/school is in an old monastery. The main building has been severely damaged by wars years ago, and was never repaired (it appears). They have a school building and a dormitory. Over 100 deaf children live there - boys and girls ranging in ages from 7 - 19. A couple teachers met us and took us in to see the children who had not gone to a home on holiday break. There were 9 boys and 2 girls (Krystina & Marharyta). The boys were aged from 7-19. You could tell they didn't get visitors much because they were so excited to see us and starved for attention. The other interesting thing was that there were some hearing children there too - I don't know why they mixed the deaf and hearing kids, but I hope to find out while here. Anyway, we handed out the toys and gifts we had put together for the children and they absolutely loved seeing what we had given them. They ate lots of the candy while trying to learn how to play with the toys - they didn't know what a frisbee, basketball hoop or football were, or what to do with them, so we tried to teach them. After playing with the kids some, we got to see some of the school. Small classrooms, but they did have some books, paper, pictures, etc. in them. They did have some heat too, although we wore our really heavy winter coats inside, and did not get overheated. We saw the bathrooms - the toilets don't really flush well at all and in the one bathroom I went in, there were 2 toilets and one sink. The smell practically made me gag. Following the tour of the school we went back to the kitchen where the children were starting to eat lunch - looked like chicken broth with some carrots, and some kind of food that resembled meatloaf on top of an egg (?). I'm really not sure what it was, but the kids did not eat much of it...they are all very skinny and many are so small for their ages. We took Marharyta & Krystina with us for the rest of the afternoon when we left. They had to go back to the orphanage to sleep that night, New Years Eve, though, because Valentina didn't have room for them in her home with us.

New Years Eve - a huge Belarusian celebration. Valentina invited her family over - her sister & brother-in-law and her mother. Of course, they wanted to come "meet the Americans!" They put out all kinds of food for dinner around 10 pm. They had fish (raw & cooked), chicken, pork, fruit, vegetables, etc. Juice, champagne & vodka were apparently essential to the celebration too. We first celebrated the Russian new year at 11 pm (Moscow is 1 hour ahead of Belarus), then the Belarusian new year at 12 pm. At 1 am we walked to the town square to the holiday lights. We saw it, but apparently arrived too early because as we were walking back many people were starting to come down for the concert that was starting later. We were too tired to stay longer. When we got back to the house, we had dessert and then around 3 am we finally went to bed!

The next day, Baris showed us the town - we first went on a horse drawn sleigh ride! Now I know in America we have this picturesque image of the horse drawn sleigh ride with the sparkling silver runners, and the beautiful horse - that was not quite what this ride was!! :) The horse was small, pretty dirty and didn't smell good at all. The "Sleigh" was more of a sled that had poles attached to handmade braided harnesses on either side of the horse. It did have a bench that 3 of us could fit on. The ride was fast & cold & bumpy! We survived though and it was certainly an interesting experience. We also went in the stable where these horses are and saw the stable area. Again - nothing like America!

After the sleigh ride, Baris wanted us to meet his parents, so we visited them in their small village home. It was a tiny little house - seemed like we had gone back in time about 100 years. It was so old! When Baris opened the door to go inside, 3 chickens came running out. His parents looked very old, but we found out they were only 77 and 82 years old. They had lived in this home for over 40 years. There were clothes hanging on the clothesline outside. They did have electricity and a small refrigerator & TV. Otherwise it seemed to be a 2 room house - a small kitchen and a living area. On one side of the living area were 2 twin size beds, on the other side was a sofa, chair & TV. They were very welcoming and friendly people. We were the first Americans they had ever met in their lives. To these people, that is a huge thing - at times Joe, Rich and I have very much felt that we are "celebrities" as we are taken to different places and introduced to family as "my friends from America". All the people we have met are so excited to meet us, as Americans, and can't wait to invite us to their homes. Constantly we're told to "come back in the summer"! :)

After that visit, Baris took us to a monastery that is over 600 years old. Again the old church building and monastery were severly damaged in WWII, but they have a small church there now and 12 monks live there. It was an interesting visit.

On Jan. 2nd we woke up early to pick up Marharyta & Krystina at the deaf orphanage & take them with us to the ARK house. It was great to get to take them out of the orphanage! Before we left the orphanage, we got to see the bedrooms. About 10 kids in a room - very small beds with little blankets, some heat, 2 small wardrobe closets for all the kids in the one room, very few toys and decorations. You could easily see which kids came to America before because they had some toys on their beds. The bathrooms were not good. 2 sinks for a whole floor, 1 bath "tub" (a 2 ft x 3 ft porcelian wash area that's about 5 inches deep - no shower & no privacy, and 5 toilets. There was one girl's floor and one boy's floor. No wonder the kids didn't smell very good - it'd be practically impossible for them to get a decent bath.

After taking the girls we went to the Ryasno orphanage where we met up with the rest of the ABRO group that went on the trip. It was so exciting to see the other English speaking people again - so nice to be able to talk to others too! :) Ryasno is a large orphanage - about 75 kids live there now. They have a school building, greenhouses, and a dormitory/kitchen. Again, we handed out toys to the children & the children put on a performance for us. The children also had made pictures and other crafts which they auctioned to us. The money raised went to the orphanage - they raise over $1,600 from the Americans! The thing about Ryasno that struck me the most was that we were told all the children there were mentally retarded. But, in our interactions with them, the children are not mentally retarded at all...they were labeled early in life as having severe learning disabilities and were sent to Ryasno. They will have this label for the rest of their lives, even though it's untrue. It is so sad to think these children, who are perfectly capable of doing almost anything probably, won't be allowed to grow to their full potential because of the limitations they have in life set by the authorities. The temperature in the one bedroom at Ryasno was 54 degrees. The bathrooms were ok, but according to Rich and Joe, the boys' bathrooms just have holes in the floors - no toilets at all.

We got back to the ARK house last night, enjoyed dinner with the girls, and then gave the girls their "presents" we brought from home. Oh to see their faces when giving them little things like a new pair of socks or a toothbrush! I got so many hugs and kisses for such little things...that's how you know these children really have nothing...they see us loving them in these little actions, and it is so rewarding. It's one time when their sad faces change to joy, a little light glimmers in their eyes...

Today we took the girls shopping - for 7 hours!!! Yes that's right a seven hour shopping trip...now I must commend Rich and Joe because they put up with 7 girls shopping for 7 hours today (we had 2 female chaperones with us and another girl, Olya, who stays with friends of Rich's in America came to stay with us too last night). We got the girls the essentials - they all needed new boots & socks. Some needed underwear, jeans, shirts, hats, & scarves. It was a big day. The shops are totally different than in America too. Much much smaller...

We visited another girl this afternoon too, Natasha, who stayed with a host family from New Hope in Frederick last summer. She and her family live in an apartment. Her parents are both artists, and they do beautiful work. Her father's dream is to be able to have an art show in America... They thanked us (all Americans) so much for helping one of their daughters be able to come to America and see the ocean, our country, to get clothes, medical care, and help. They were so grateful... They served us cake, tea, and cookies. They had 2 bedrooms in their apartment (one was also the living room) and a kitchen. It was a newer apartment. They have an older daughter (17) and a younger daughter (almost 3) too. The youngest was so small for a 3 year old - if I had to have guessed her age, I would have said 1 1/2 years old. She was adorable - so sweet.

Tonight Joe, Krystina (Joe's), Marharyta & I ate at the ARK house and we'll play games and hang out with the girls some. Rich, Krystina, and Olya went to visit a friend they know from when they were with the ABRO group in NC.

Tomorrow we go to the deaf village, and then we are supposed to go bowling. Please pray for us tomorrow...I highly suspect that seeing the deaf village will be a very difficult experience for all of us. While we want to go learn about what happens to the deaf people in Belarus, we are also wary of going, knowing what we will see most likely will be very bad living conditions for these people.

I hope you are all doing well in America. We all miss you and we miss America. I know that even though I knew we were very blessed to live in the U.S. before I came on this trip, I now realize how very blessed we are. I'm not sure I will ever quite look at a shower or a clean toilet the same way as I did before - or clean drinking water - or lots of fruits and vegetables - or a nice car. God has truly blessed us so much...we need to thank Him and give back to Him by serving others who so desperately need our help.

Thank you for your continued prayers. Having you all as friends and prayer warriors is such a blessing to me!

Take care,

Elaine