Reclaim the Prize: The Call to Overcome our Sex-Saturated Culture

Disclaimer: the ladies that I currently work with in youth ministry are those who I place high respect for their personal conduct and moral standards. As a result of my respect for them, I feel free to talk about this, and am open to any opposing point of views here. I am just speaking here as a youth leader involved in youth ministry concerned with the changing set of values in our culture that impacts not only Deaf teen ministry, but teen ministries everywhere. This article is also written out of my concern for the general welfare of our adolescence.

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Known simply as "The Kiss," Madonna and Brittany Spears participated in an open-mouthed expression of affection on Music Television (MTV), and people say, "Oh, that's just a kiss... that means nothing."

Perfume and make-up ads (such as one to the left) are notorious for showing expression-less faces of young women or women barely dressed posed in a sensuous way that causes women to think, "Oh, this perfume will make men want me. I want to be sexy - ONLY those perfumes and make-ups can do it."

Advertisements by jean companies, especially designer ones, often show a girl and boy rolling half-naked in the ebbing flows of the ocean in passionate embrace. Simple observers will think, "Oh, it is normal to feel that way, especially when wearing that pair of jeans. There's nothing wrong with an expression of love."

Liquor ads, such as those by Budweiser and Miller Lite, often show girls with little clothing being showcased with a bottle. Sex sells, indeed, especially when it comes to beer commercials.

The above examples are just a cursory glance of what our society throws at us on a daily basis, let it be on television, magazine, or billboards. However, I must mention this as well: our teenagers see those images, and more, on a daily basis just like we did. They are led to believe in those messages shown by the media to be the truth.

And they are nothing but lies. Plain and simple.

Today in my Psychology of Adolescence, we watched a video based on the book, Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, written by Mary Pipher, an adolescent psychologist/therapist. After a bit of research on this book from Amazon.com, I must admit that it was published quite a while ago - 1994. However, much of the information covered in the film was relevant to the predicament faced by our adolescent, especially those of the female sex.

While I watched the video, I became infuriated when I saw a parade of images featuring girls in suggestive clothing peppered with sex-charged comments on magazine covers, in addition to many video clips of 5'11"-and-110-pounds-girls-with-pearly-white-teeth seem happy to hop in a bed with a well-tanned and muscular guy. As many are aware of, the girls are being pressurized to bring the waist line of their jeans lower, their shirt sleeves must be made of as little fabric as possible, their shirt neck line brought down to a revealing cleavage, and the boundaries of what defines an underwear and a pair of shorts become blurred.

The media has sexualized our culture so much that it begins to negatively influence our teenagers and disturbs people like myself who work with the youth, if not only the parents. They continue to bombard our youth with images that only entails them to lower their moral standards, become more "loose" and risky in their behavior, make poor decisions, and succumb to peer pressure that the society puts on them. Interestingly enough, the video pointed out (paraphrased):

The more girls spend their time consuming media, the more likely it is for them to engage in risky behavior (such as alcohol, drugs, sex, to name a few).

Here's a very shocking statistic that I found online that I thought should be shared. Although this does not explicitly state how the media influences our teenagers, the end results of such an influence, among other factors, are startling:

Every day in America, 1,106 teenagers have abortions; 1,295 teenagers give birth; and 7,742 teens become sexually active. (Source: Children's Defense Fund)

Moreover, the level of peer pressure is so great that they are expected to conform with the physical beauty portrayed in the media, and will be ridiculed by their peers for not wearing designer jeans or even the right hair style. If they do not par up to the society's expectations of what beauty is defined as, they are sucked in the morass of depression, eating disorders, and thoughts, if not the deed, of suicide. Even more sadly,

Every day in America, 6 teenagers commit suicide. (Source: Children's Defense Fund)

If this statistic is correct, let's put things in perspective: 42 teens die on a weekly basis, 180 monthly, and 2,190 yearly! If this doesn't cause you to boil with righteous indignation, it should!

The girls are not the only victims here to the influence of the media; our guys are beset with the incessant bombardment of negative influence that gives rise to a whole horde of destructive behaviors. Our men are taught to treat women like objects, something to be exploited. Pornography, sexual addiction, and disrespect runs rampant in the male portion of our society. Women, according to the media, are something that is ready to obey whatever men bid them to do. A terrible thing to say, indeed, but that's what many psychologists and counselors, less youth workers, have observed over the recent decades.

In summation: our adolescence are lacking a sense of self-identity and self-worth. Without those attributes, our adolescents are stuck in a great emotional turmoil; a sense of hopelessness and despair; and may even be forced to compromise their moral standards for temporal happiness.

As a youth worker involved with Deaf teenagers, it is easy for me to say, "All the talk about how much the media influences our students - they don't apply to our teenagers because the research is mainly aimed at those who can hear." However, this line of thinking is flawed because Deaf people are very visual (their brains, according to research, will compensate one's visual abilities to compensate for the unused auditory part of the brain - interesting!) and do readily obtain information. And that made me wonder (and I ask you this question too): how can we effectively minister to our students in this sex-saturated culture?

First, we need to love our students unconditionally, just like God loves us. Our students need to know that they are loved just the way they are. They do not need to be skinny, beautiful, or even a blonde! They need to know that regardless of their race, sex, national origin, sex, and religious beliefs, they are loved! They need to know that they are valued for who they are, not for what the society tells them to be!

Second, our students need to be given a safe, nurturing place where they can freely express their feelings, thoughts, and troubles to a group of believers who will support and encourage them to be the men/women that God intends them to be. This is the key to build a community of believers that truly reflects His Church.

Finally, in order to know how to effectively minister to our teenagers, let them be Deaf or hearing, we must be knowledgeable about our culture's current trends and inclinations by staying up-to-date. We need to know the major movers and pushers in the media that potentially can shape our teenagers' lives, and offer a counter response to them.

There is another important lesson worthy of note that I have  learned: the parents of our youth, not their friends or even us, are the primary youth workers. They interact with their children all the time, both inside and outside their homes, and imparts the most influence on their lives. Youth workers (such as myself) only have a secondary role in teenagers' lives, and we can help our parents do a better job by keeping them up-to-date with the youth culture's ever-shifting landscape. Quite a challenging task, I must admit, but a honorable one nonetheless. I consider it a great honor when the parents of our youth entrusts their lives in our hands and empowers us to help their teenagers mature to become godly people.

Above all things, no matter what happens, no matter how bad things might seem to get, let it be with our media or culture, Jesus reminds us:

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!" (John 16:33 NIV)

Regardless of what message our media feeds our teenagers, what our culture forces our kids, I challenge you: be a revolutionary and overcome our culture with the message of Hope! Help our teenagers reclaim the prize stolen under our teenagers' noses: the sense of and the pride for selfhood. Once done that, also remind them that the God of redeeming love and grace can heal and restore them from the hurts inflicted by our culture, and usher them into a lifestyle characterized by His Love.

A Week Without God

Imagine if there was no God... no hope, no love, no grace, no mercy. Nothingness will reign in our world. Hopelessness and Despair will be our parasites and leave us to be hollow shells of our unique selves. And the days of our weeks would be called:

Mournday

Tearsday

Wasteday

Thirstyday

Fightday

Shatterday

Sinday

(Got this from an e-mail forward, and wanted to share it)