1) The best scenic views are clearly designated by highway signs reading NO STOPPING ANYTIME.
2) Edward Steichen owned a three-legged dog, which he named Tripod.
3) The Post Office folds all parcels containing photographs.
4) Camera straps never fail above soft surfaces.
5) Lens caps can become invisible at will.
6) Financial success in photography is directly related to proper choice of subject matter. Falling airplanes, exploding volcanoes, and certain Presidential motorcades work best.
7) No two light meters agree.
8) The work "Daguerreotype" cannot be spelled correctly.
9) A new Hasselblad would take better pictures than your present camera.
10) 1/60 at f/8 is the correct exposure for all photographs.
11) When your friends finally realize that you are a true artist, committed to making sensitive and meaningful images, they will ask you to photograph their wedding.
12) Color slide viewing cures insomnia.
13) On any tripod, only two legs work properly.
14) Dust spot are attracted to sky areas.
15) YES, DARKROOM PHOTOGRAPHERS DO IT IN THE DARK... but they have to stop every thirty seconds to agitate.
16) There is nothing wrong with a Point & Shoot camera that a SLR can't cure.
17) Ansel Adams has three Secret Zones known only to him.
18) Fast ISO speeds compensate for slow photographers.
19) Mounting a photograph is a misdemeanor in Arkansas.
20) Owning more than one lens assures that you will always have the wrong lens on the camera for any given picture.
21) A camera store will charge $200 to repair a camera that has been adjusted with a butter knife.
22) Falling lenses are attracted to rocks.
23) Into every life a little dust and digital noise must fall.
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